Kate Gosselin, the most serious and intense and dedicated mom in the universe, has been dropped from “Dancing with the Stars,” causing noted atheist Richard Dawkins to convene a press conference and announce he believes there is, in fact, a God.

Gosselin failed to ignite the ballroom, landing near the bottom of the judges' leaderboard during five weeks of dancing. She and professional partner Tony Dovolani came into Tuesday's results show with the week's lowest score: 15 points out of 30 for a lackluster foxtrot.
"I think Tony could have had more life out of a frock on a coat hanger," judge Bruno Tonioli said Monday.

Buzz Aldrin was eliminated a few weeks ago, which gives him one thing in common with Kate Gosselin. Well, maybe two; she also has inspired many people to find a way to leave this planet.


Here’s the way astronauts deal with guys who say they never walked on the moon. One of these days, Alice; bang, zoom.



Why hasn't anyone invented "Boxing with the Stars" yet? No charges were filed in the incident above, because everyone loves Buzz. Note to Kate: You are not Buzz. This is an excellent opportunity to leave the public eye and never come back. Not even as the Mom Leader of a Partridge-Family style rock band. After this the only thing you have left is personal appearances at Baby Loves Disco events, which is like being the Lindsay Lohan of the maternal demographic.

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