Some of the titles that come with jobs to which political figures aspire are unimaginable to Lizz Winstead.
The satirist, "Daily Show" co-creator and regular on MSNBC's "The Ed Schultz Show" is back in Minnesota for her annual Parkway Theater New Year's Eve shows. "Bang The Dumb Slowly" is the title of the 2011 edition of her look back at the year in politics. Certain people with names like Gingrich, Bachmann, Romney and Obama got Winstead-style tongue lashings.
In an upcoming book of essays, "Lizz Free or Die," Winstead explains how she found her national voice growing up in a large Minnesota family. The book is scheduled for release later this year.
Taking a break from creating the perfect "Bang" graphics, Winstead met me for lunch at Tandoor in Bloomington.
My questions were mostly presented as names with titles.
Speaking of handles, I asked about "Elizabeth Taylor Winstead," since she said one photo on the @lizzwinstead Twitter.com page, seen here, was inspired by Taylor:
"That was the end of the night of my 50th birthday. My niece took it. I was coming out of the bathroom, finishing my last drink. I thought 'You know what, screw it. This is what 50 looks like when it's not airbrushed.' Ladies, go for it!"
Q First Lady Callista Gingrich?
A White House homewrecker
Q President Newt Gingrich?
A Truffle pig in chief
Q President Mitt Romney?
A Virtual impossibility. When you want Newt Gingrich more than you want a Mormon, there is no way.
Q Herman Cain?
A The sad thing; it wasn't the sexual harrassment that did him in; it was the affair. These family values guys.
Q President Michele Bachmann?
A (Silence) It's so far flung and frightening, I'm without speech.
Q You've got to be disappointed in President Barack Obaman a little?
A Of course, I am not a big party operative for the president or the Democrats no matter what. It terrifies me that we can detain American citizens, the fact that he's abdicated things to [Speaker of the House] John Boehner and thought that stuff was going to get done. Did he [Obama] really, honestly believe that those people were going to negotiate and compromise on something when they hate him? Hate him to the point they don't even want Michelle Obama to have vegetables in school! No matter [which] Obama it is, they're like, No. Pizza's a vegetable! That's what we've decided now! [Obama's] naiveté about how much they hate him was really unbelievable. And some of the stuff he did, they should love him for, like killing Osama bin Laden, ending the war in Iraq. He's done stuff they have said they wanted to do.
Q Sen. Amy Koch?
A Hypocrite. Here's my impression of [the forced-out leader of Minnesota Senate Republicans] Amy Koch. Blah, blah, blah don't let the gays get married. Blah, blah, blah, I'm on my way to my hotel for my inappropriate relationship.
Q The 72-Day Wife, Kim Kardashian?
A She is just celebrity porn. Useless porn. Useless on every level known to man.
Q Joy Behar?
A National treasure. Too bad her show [on HLN, not to be confused with ABC's "The View] is going away. Headline News wants to be all tragedy porn all the time. Ghoul, ghoul, ghoul. The starting point is to react the way Nancy Grace does and if you can up that ante, that's what Headline News is.
Q Mr. and Mrs. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the -- I can't even believe this is a rumor -- possible do-over?
A If she takes her Catholicism back into the arms of Arnold, I don't know what to say other than the men in her life have been very influential.
Q Mensa member Sherri Shepherd.
A I don't really know what to say that she doesn't reveal about herself on a daily basis [on "The View"]. You go, Sherri. I would walk to the end of the flat earth for you.
Q Craig Kilborn [another Minnesotan and "Daily Show" host when Winstead cut ties].
A Kilborn? Remind me? (Unrelenting silence.)
Q Ginny Winstead. [Lizz's mother, who in 2011 joined husband Windy Winstead, who died in 2005]
A Time's Person of the Year!
Interviews are edited for space and clarity.
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or firstname.lastname@example.org. More of her attitude can be heard Thursday mornings on FOX 9.