NuVo Condoms mailed Donovan McNabb an 18-pack on Tuesday, even though the company is well aware that wasn't exactly the kind of protection the Vikings QB needed against the Bears.
"Poor McNabb is getting too old to be roughed up this badly and it must start to hurt," reads a media release from the New York-based company, which gives celebrities condoms as promotional stunts. McNabb was one of the "NuVo Protection Plan" winners from Week 6 of the NFL season.
"Tough game Sunday night," Ben Isaacs, a NuVo veep, told me on the phone Tuesday. "They never really showed up to play. I guess you could say Donovan McNabb is the scapegoat, as he was benched in favor of Christian Ponder. Really, our main goal as a company is to focus on all the positive aspects of condom usage and try to do this in a fun way, which is how we came up with the 'NuVo Protection Program.'"
"In this country teenage pregnancies and STDs are on the rise," Isaacs said. "So we do these fun types of things just to get our name out there.
"I'm sure you've heard Ashton Kutcher allegedly had a fling with a young woman. ... We sent Ashton Kutcher a year's worth of condoms." BAM! The young woman who claims to have had the one-night stand with Kutcher said the "Two and a Half Men" star used no protection.
"Thank God we weren't in business" when stories of Tiger Woods marriage-busting infidelities broke, Isaacs said. "We wouldn't have enough left in inventory." NuVo launched as a company just a few months ago.
Since I've heard nothing to suggest that McNabb is anything other than a faithful husband, he probably doesn't need condoms as much as some of his married pro colleagues. While Ponder seems much smarter than the average pro athlete, the HOT, all-out sexy single guy could probably use a shipment? "That is correct," Isaacs said.
NuVo's probably already packaging product for shipment to Ponder, since the hapless Vikings take on the Super Bowl champion Packers on Sunday. Run, Christian, run. I want to be right about predicting six Vikings wins this season (a number I hated selecting because coach Leslie Frazier is a lovely guy). But even that's looking optimistic.No Kardashians welcome
Guess who's not coming to dinner at the White House if President Obama gets his way: Kardashians.
iVillage reports that first daughters Malia and Sasha Obama, ages 13 and 10, love watching "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" when the shows repeat over the weekend. (During the week the girls are not allowed to watch non-school-related TV programming.)
In an interview with iVillage, First Lady Michelle Obama indicated that she's of the opinion that since the Kardashians are talked about, her kids should watch so she can monitor what the girls absorb from the E! TV shows. "And if they are learning the right lessons, like 'That was crazy,' then I'm like, 'OK,'" said the first lady. (Mrs. O should curb her Kim Kardashianesque penchant for overusing the word like.)
"Barack," as his wife still level-headedly calls him, "doesn't like" his children viewing Kardashian shows.
E-mailers Ann Menk, Valerie Bartl and Tom Dewey wish I wouldn't ever write about the Kardashians, even though Kim is married to Minnesotan Kris Humphries. Curiously, Humphries did not appear to make the jaunt to Dubai when Kim and her mom, Kris Jenner, attended the grand opening there of a Millions of Milkshakes. Kris probably didn't want to be bothered with his mother-in-law.
At any rate, the Times of India, quoting Gulf News, said Kim again let it be known that "I'd like to be a mum" -- a reality more easily accomplished when traveling with hubby -- although I'm told there may already be BIGGER problems that a baby shouldn't be brought into this world to fix.
There may be televised matters that neither of the Obamas will want their kids to view.Sieber visits the folks
Kardashian detractors will be pleased to hear that Christopher Sieber feigned regurgitation when reminded that Kim was married to a Minnesotan.
Sieber's otherwise preoccupied with the tour of "La Cage Aux Folles," co-starring George Hamilton, which ends Sunday at the State Theater. Ran into Sieber at Fox 9 Wednesday.
Harvey Fierstein, the actor who wrote the "La Cage" book, was swapping texts with Sieber. "Harvey's a 12-year-old girl -- you don't want to know what he texts. Let me see what he says," Sieber said, reviewing his communications device. "I can't actually repeat anything that he said. He's a lovely guy."
So is Sieber, who upon arriving from Iowa "went home to Wyoming, Minnesota, to see my parents. There we were, and then we went to Applebee's. All 12 of us. That was just my mom's choice. That's the only game in town in Forest Lake. Had a great time. I stayed overnight in my own bedroom, my former bedroom."
As for that pea-brained Kim Kardashian's imaginary "Yee Haw, Minnesota," Sieber said: "I know where a lot of places are in Minnesota, but never heard of 'Yee Haw.'"
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or firstname.lastname@example.org. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.