ST. LOUIS – Some might scoff at the notion of etiquette training in 2017, but they won't laugh at the results, according to a Gen X entrepreneur.
Naretha Hopson of Ever-Appropriate Etiquette Institute started her business working with middle schoolers but her message resonated with corporate leaders and job training agencies developing millennials and Gen Z talent.
Among the young, there's often a perception that "traditional" means "out-of-date" or "stodgy," but Hopson, who is also launching online courses at ever-appropriate.com, said that young professionals ignore her advice at their peril.
There's a widespread perception that millennials and Gen Z professionals are entering the workforce more immature than previous generations. Hopson says it's a sign of a difference in etiquette training.
"A lot of people don't know what they don't know," Hopson said. She noted that too often a candidate can be discounted for a simple social mistake because it's a cue that they won't be a good representative of a company that's looking to appear savvy, confident and competent.
"It's a game and it's not fair — it's not fair — but if you know the rules, you can increase your chance of success," Hopson explains — "increase," she said, not ensure.
She's heard the refrain that someone did everything right and someone else seemed to do everything wrong, but they achieved X, Y or Z. Her explanation is not comforting: That's life.
She also says, that's no reason to handicap yourself further. You can fight the rules, decide that being true to yourself means that you're above the rules, or insist that the rules are discriminatory and don't apply to you, but that means you are likely compromising your next job, raise or promotion opportunity.
Jennifer M. Davis, assistant director of Business Career Services at the University of Missouri-Columbia Trulaske College of Business, said that they don't necessarily use the word "etiquette" to define corporate soft skills, but it's one of the most important business skills students acquire.
Etiquette, not just good grades or a résumé, make the difference between getting an internship or a job and ending up in the "thank you for applying, but …" category.
"We're in a tech savvy world, but the ability to write and craft a good e-mail is sometimes lacking," Davis said. A casual, overly familiar tone can be detrimental.
"I can see students saying that the 'Dear Mr. or Ms. whoever" letter is old-fashioned, but you might be walking into a generation of 'yes, sir' and 'yes, ma'am.' "
Rules vary, but it's seldom a bad idea to err on the side of formality.
Everyone has to learn the rules; it's not necessarily an innate cultural communication, Hopson said. But depending on your exposure to elite social circles, you might be at a disadvantage. She said she helps level the playing field.
Hopson, 39, is the oldest of her siblings. She graduated from a public high school populated by working-class families. She worked the retail counter at the family business during high school and learned to interact with adults on a professional level early.
Thanks to the family's success, her two brothers who are six to seven years younger graduated from elite private schools in the St. Louis area.
She said her journey as an etiquette specialist and cultural rules decoder started when she noticed the differences in their school experiences. Her brothers were surrounded by classmates moving on to high-ranking universities. She had a more typical high school experience but said having an entrepreneurial family gave her skills and confidence that opened doors she saw many of her peers stumble on.
"I really wouldn't trade it, I loved working with my family," Hopson said. "I've got entrepreneurship in my blood."
She launched her business in 2010.
Davis of Mizzou said years of schooling and stellar grades can go for naught if a job candidate sends an ill-conceived text message to a recruiter instead of a well-thought-out e-mail or better yet a handwritten note.
And posting a tongue-out selfie with a CEO who you've tagged in a typo-riddled Twitter message conveys that you might not have the judgment or decorum to be a junior executive.