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TV personalities say the wackiest things

20th Century Fox

Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt in "Cheaper by the Dozen."

Here are some memorable sound bites from the TV Critics Press Tour.

Last update: July 19, 2008 - 11:48 AM

Hollywood actors have every reason to be down in the dumps. Just as they're recovering from one strike, they're bracing for another. The success of reality shows such as "Wipeout," a game where the breakout stars are a bunch of rubber balls, means fewer jobs, unless you're willing to dance, date or dish about your personal life in prime time. But we're dealing with professionals, folks, which is why there was plenty of wit and wisdom to be shared when they made their obligatory appearances at the TV Critics Press Tour. Here are some memorable sound bites from the past two weeks:

Joel McHale, host of "The Soup" on E!, about Ryan Seacrest:

"Ryan alone is responsible for 75 percent of our material. I love that little Hobbit."

Bobby Brown about going hunting with some locals on his CMT reality show, "Outsider's Inn":

"I just made sure I stayed in the back because sometimes, you know, when you are going out in the woods with a bunch of -- I don't know what to call them -- rednecks ... usually, you know, the dark one gets shot."

Ed Asner on his relationship with "Mary Tyler Moore" co-star Cloris Leachman:

"Well, of course, she has a thing for me. She's a woman. But, we've always had a thing for each other. We exhibit great lust for each other. But we never, never culminated because, you know, we know that we're going to be on family shows, and we don't want to ruin our reputation."

Dave Attell, host of Comedy Central's "Gong Show":

"I guess my secret talent is I chain-smoke."

Ricky Gervais:

"I can't laugh at someone I don't like. They can be the best lines in the world, but if I don't like him, I can't laugh. I just can't. I've got to like someone to laugh with them. And, you know, Hitler had great lines; didn't make me laugh at all."

Bonnie Hunt, host of an upcoming daytime talk show:

"My mom's convinced still that the computer can see us, so she has duct tape over the little camera on the Mac."

Karl Rove, former aide to President Bush and now a Fox News analyst:

"I'm not the myth that I've been developed into, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm like Grendel in Beowulf. People talk about me a lot, and they don't see me very often."

Ted Danson on his side-splitting appearances on Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm":

"It's Larry's world, so he just assumes that when he picks up the phone that you will come, and we do. The phone rings, and for some sad reason, I'm available."

George Foreman on why he named all his sons George:

"I tell everybody: When you've been hit on the head by Joe Frazier, Ken Norton, Evander Holyfield, Muhammad Ali, how many names do you expect me to know?"

Florence Henderson on the reality-show marriage of "Brady Bunch" son Christopher Knight and model Adrianne Curry:

"I went on 'The Surreal Life' and I counseled them. They didn't take my advice at all. ... [Then] they asked if I would come and counsel them before the marriage, and I said, 'No, but maybe I'll come and counsel the divorce.'"

Shirley MacLaine on what she has in common with Coco Chanel, whom she'll portray in a Lifetime movie:

"Well, I think we're both colorful. I think we're both rude. I think we're both spontaneous. ... I think we both have talent. I think we both are probably dead. No. I don't know. She was, and I can be, quite contradictory. Wait, maybe not." njustin@startribune.com • 612-673-7431

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