Hey, did you know they were making a Rockford Files remake? Now you know. Update: it's been cancelled.

Oh, just stop it. This is like doing "Hawaii 5-0" without Jack Lord. (Or Zulu as Kono.) Dilbert Mulroney, who played the character in the pilot, looks like he could do Rockfordesque, but that's not enough. The original show worked because of James Garner, and subtle, comedic writing. (One of the original writers was David Chase, who gave us "The Sopranos," among other things. Okay, also "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.") Remakes work if the show was campy or bad, or was "Star Trek" - which was also sometimes campy and bad, proving my point. Good shows should be left alone.

Here's an idea: run the originals in prime time. Tell everyone it's a new show, set in the 70s. It's retro!