The OutKast rapper repeatedly left us hanging. So we improvised.
The publicists had more than a month to arrange it. Last week, they finally set up the interview once, twice, three times. Then his manager promised a firm time late Monday. Could we skip our concert that night and sit by the phone again?
We did, and the time came and went again.
Are we upset with Big Boi for repeatedly blowing us off? Nah, we've chatted with many more famous rappers, including his OutKast partner Andre 3000. Because he earned a premier spot at Sunday's Soundset festival, though, we've rarely put in as much work for a single interview. We didn't want all that effort to be for naught.
So, with apologies to the Enquirer and anyone who can't take a joke, here's a completely bogus, fantasized version of the interview. Only the questions are the real thing.
Q Are you a fan at all of your Soundset hosts from Minneapolis-based Rhymesayers Entertainment?
A Aw, man, am I ever. I was just at Atmosphere's show in Saskatoon a few weeks ago. It was off the hook. Ant and I went out for mooseburgers after the show. I also used to see P.O.S. on the Warped Tour a lot when I was out with my hardcore band -- also called Outcast! but with a "c" and an exclamation point.
Q Your first solo album, "Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty," was worth the two-year wait. What took so long?
A Aw, you know: Too many "Gossip Girl" reruns to watch. That, and I got hung up trying to decide if I should call it "The Son of Chico Dusty: Sir Lucious Left Foot" or "Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty."
Q Is it true Jive Records wouldn't let Andre 3000 be on the album to hold him to his contract and get back at you for leaving?
A No, it wasn't Andre I asked for. Jive wouldn't let me use one of their other artists, Weird Al Yankovic. They were afraid Al might frighten my fans.
Q I'll be fascinated to hear the tracks you produced with Modest Mouse for their upcoming record. How did that collaboration come about?
A Modest who? Never heard of them. Oh, wait, are those the funny-looking dudes I kicked outta my studio for wearing flannel?
Q OutKast left behind a major legacy. What are the things you're proudest of?
A "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" is the only all-hip-hop album to win a Grammy for album of the year. "Stankonia" ranked No. 359 in Rolling Stone's best 500 albums of all time. But really, the best thing that came out of all that success was getting my first big-screen leading role. Did you get to see 'Who's Your Caddy?'"