Dangerous adventures in Barbie-land

Wouldn't it be great if you could go about your daily life as a better-looking, thinner, more perfect version of yourself? That semi-you could go to work, shop for groceries and go out on the town and the real you could schlub around your house all day long, living vicariously through your surrogate.

That'd be great, right? Well, not so fast, says "Surrogates," a subpar sci-fi thriller set in an Atwoodian alterna-future where regular folks stay at home glued to a complex computer screen while their surrogates venture into the world. The world seems perfect with surrogates; there's a massive decrease in crime and communicable diseases, for starters. And everyone looks like a Barbie or Ken doll. Then something goes amok, and humans begin to die when their surrogates do. The son of the surrogates' creator is found dead in his dorm room. Is this the work of a faction of real humans who've created a Jonestown-like utopia under the rule of a man who calls himself The Prophet? Or are other forces at play?

It's up to intrepid FBI agent Tom Greer (Bruce Willis, in the same old heroic role he always plays) to -- what else? -- save the world from certain destruction. He's tough, smart and indestructible. It'll take more than laser guns, helicopter accidents and a careening car chase to kill him. But he has a heart, too! He wants to save humanity and reunite with his distant, damaged wife (Rosamund Pike), who hides behind her Botoxed surrogate to cut the pain of their son's death.

Viewing "Surrogates" is like spending a few hours playing a high-octane game of "The Sims" or "Second Life." Kudos to those who play the dummies; these airbrushed mannequins provide employment for Los Angeles' legions of pretty but untalented actors.

"Surrogates" fails because it drowns in its own big-budget bombast: special effects and computer-generated imagery that squeeze out any possibility of authenticity. While the subject matter of "Surrogates" could have been compelling, the film fails to explore all the issues at hand. This isn't the type of film to best address such societal issues; blowing up vehicles and the wooden presence of Willis nip that idea in the bud.

The action moves quickly enough to keep the audience interested, although the underlying aura of plasticine creepiness that sets in at the beginning fades toward the middle as it gives way to Hollywood cliché.

Kara Nesvig is a Minneapolis freelance writer.