THE MARC PEASE EXPERIENCE

★ out of four stars

Rating: PG-13 for brief sexual material.

Usually a movie starring Ben Stiller and "Twilight's" Anna Kendrick would be a big deal. So why is Paramount dumping "The Marc Pease Experience" with a theatrical release in just 10 markets nationwide? Easy decision. The film is an all-you-can-eat buffet of mediocrity. A spiraling vortex of boredom. A deflated Whoopee cushion.

The problem starts with the premise. The central character is an optimistic loser, but mostly a loser. Marc (Jason Schwartzman) is eight years out of New Ashby High, yet still dreaming of bygone days when he starred in the school's musicals. He's hounding his former music teacher, Mr. Gribble (Stiller), for guidance and hanging on Gribble's long-ago offer to help his a cappella group produce a demo CD. No matter that four of the original eight singers have moved on with their lives, a choice Marc has never considered.

Schwartzman plays his role as a charmless poster child for arrested development, and his idolatry/rivalry relationship with Stiller is smudgy and hard to read. Between Marc, a pest with some musical talent but unrealistic dreams, and Gribble, a lech who nevertheless is a truly caring and inspirational teacher, there's no real rooting interest here. The vague, icky emotional triangle among the men and high school senior Kendrick brings echoes of "Lolita" into the featherweight comedy, which is more emotional heft than it can support.

The climax is the most brazen cliché in the history of musical theater, presented here as a freshly minted inspiration. The action unfolds around the staging of a high school play, and, all things considered, I'd rather have seen one of those.

COLIN COVERT

POST GRAD

★ 1/2 out of four stars

Rating: PG-13 for sexual situations and brief strong language.

Alexis Bledel, the Gilmore Girl with the Traveling Pants, takes a baby step into adulthood with a retro romantic comedy about looking for love and career fulfillment the minute you get out of college. How retro? It's like "Mad Men" with (not many) laughs.

Bledel plays Ryden Malby, who finishes college, expects to start work at a prestigious L.A. publishing house, get her own apartment and experience life. But when she doesn't land the dream gig, she's stuck at home with her quirky family, headed by luggage salesman Dad (Michael Keaton), adoring Mom (Jane Lynch) and shopping-for-coffins Granny (Carol Burnett).

Ryden is in a hurry to find her life mate, too. Her choices are a hunky, older Brazilian infomercial-director neighbor, who has her licking her lips, and a patient "maybe she'll come around" would-be singer-songwriter suitor, who reeks of "just friends."

See Ryden fail at jobs. Hear her nemesis lecture her that "struggle and strife come before success, even in the dictionary." See Ryden throw herself at one guy and then the other.

There's nothing here to offend, aside from a few jarring profanities. Bledel is as charming as ever, but you have to wonder if she believes and would support the decisions Ryden makes. "Post Grad" is a "Devil Wears Prada" without the devil, a "Reality Bites" without any bite -- and not much reality, either.

ROGER MOORE, ORLANDO SENTINEL

SHORTS

★★ 1/2 out of four stars

Rating: PG for mild action and some rude humor.

Robert Rodriguez channels his inner 11-year-old with a childish but fun wish-fulfillment fantasy for kids that's equal parts boogers, big messages and product placement.

It's a connected collection of "shorts" -- short films about kids (and adults) who encounter a magical wishing rock deep in the heart of Texas. In Black Falls, everybody works on the Black Box, an all-in-one phone gadget. Not that this makes Cobalt Black (James Spader) happy. He's paranoid about losing market share, which is why competing marketers Mrs. and Mr. Thompson (Leslie Mann and Jon Cryer) are constantly on their Black Boxes, miscommunicating. They barely notice that son Toby "Toe" Thompson (Jimmy Bennett) is friendless, the object of bullying by Black's hellish daughter, Helvetica (Jolie Vanier, a preteen Christina Ricci).

That changes when the little rainbow rock falls into his life. As Toe and other kids cope with having their wishes come true (and blunder with every wish), telephones pop out of their heads, pterodactyls pluck them from one danger and into another, braces pop off teeth but arms are broken.

It's cute, and it skews young enough that you won't have to worry about the plugs for this car or that video game company. Thankfully, most kids aren't in the market for anything at Ikea.

ROGER MOORE, ORLANDO SENTINEL