eat + drink

Minneapolis is good at creating certain things that endure. Bike trails, for instance. And musty bars that serve grease-ball delicacies (Juicy Lucys, hot dagos, garlic roast beefs). And old bands that should have been more famous.

Entertainment and shopping districts, however, are not our strong suit.

Remember the Riverplace/Mississippi Live complex, the night-out mecca that opened on the St. Anthony Main riverfront in the early '90s? It took all of a year to fizzle. Remember City Center, that maze of shops and restaurants that all skyways and teenage dates led to in the '80s? It wasted away so badly, the Hold Steady wrote a song about its demise.

And remember Block E, that great brain trust of a mall that convinced city leaders to plop down $39 million in tax money so we could have a Hooters, Applebee's and Snyder Drug under one roof downtown? I think it's still in business, but it's hard to tell.

I was reminded of all these incredible failures on a couple of recent afternoon rambles around Uptown. Ah, Uptown. It's like the cool uncle you love for his exuberance, but you know has issues.

Well, that fun uncle is in rehab again. Major renovations are underway at Calhoun Square, the epicenter/concrete-shoes of Uptown. Around it, the district now ripples out haphazardly into a weird mix of freshly built/upchucked condos and virgin storefronts burning for customers (actual store names: Status, Covered, Empowered) alongside shuttered old mainstays that faded away (Campiello restaurant, Josi Wert clothing store).

If they need a new slogan to keep Uptown alive during this transitional phase, it could be "Uptown: a great place to get your hair cut."

Honestly, that's almost all I saw -- people with freshly shorn and often over-pomaded heads, plus a few brave souls out to see "Ché." The salon business clearly benefits the 'hood, based on the numerous people who glanced at their reflections in the window on their way into Lucia's for lunch. "Ché," on the other hand -- a 4 1/2-hour movie about the world's favorite socialist -- can't be good for business.

A block down from the Uptown movie theater -- which itself should get a facelift or at least a new air filter if it's going to continue hoarding all the hot indie movies -- employees outnumbered customers 8-3 at even the seemingly Teflon hipster clothing haven Urban Outfitters. I like to go into U.O. stores once in a while to browse the T-shirts, if only to stay on top of which oldies acts the kids are pretending to listen to (Joy Division and John Coltrane this month).

Other signs of Uptown's decay: Cheapo Records had more copies of U2's "Pop" album than customers, although that could be chalked up to all those T-shirt-wearing Urban Outfitters kids who steal all their music. As for what's left of Calhoun Square, it felt like a ghost town with a still-running escalator. It looked especially vacant down in the corner where a GNC health-supplement store sits across from Famous Dave's BBQ. (Am I the only one who finds that funny?)

Of course, Uptown always comes more alive in the summer, especially at such nightclubs- disguised-as-restaurants as Stella's Fish Cafe and Chino Latino. Stella's blooms because of its unbeatable patio, which this summer should offer terrific views of the Calhoun Square construction site. Chino Latino's business rises and falls along with the necklines and hems of its female clientele.

Still, summer lasts only three months in Minnesota. The area can't survive on the hot months and horny singles alone.

Nirvana at Uptown Bar

I'm not going to pretend to know the cure for what ails Uptown (besides the remedy for everything these days: turning the economy around). But some pointers might be found in the only place I found a crowd.

It was on a weeknight, no less, at the Uptown Bar & Café, which used to be called the Uptown Bar & Grill before it kowtowed to trendier customers (fortunately, little else changed). Thanks to a midweek gig by Solid Gold -- a Twin Cities band that the kids actually are listening to -- the crowd was bulging like M.I.A. at last weekend's Grammys. And it's usually bustling whenever I go there.

The Uptown Bar is one of the oldest, ugliest, grungiest sites in the 'hood. But it's also one of the most vibrant, demographically diverse and least pretentious. As Uptown tries to regroup, it shouldn't rely on mall construction companies or condo builders to decide what businesses go in. It should encourage independent and creative entrepreneurs who might stay there as long as the Uptown Bar has. I'd especially recommend anyone with a nice haircut.

chrisr@startribune.com • 612-673-4658