The nightclub bathroom is a scene unto itself. Whether cool and alluring or down and dirty, it's all about style.
Bathrooms were created for one very practical purpose. Nightclub bathrooms, however, laugh at practicality. Scoff, actually.
Flat-screen TVs, leather couches, a shoeshine guy? It's like they don't want you back at the bar. Of course, there's a flip side to all that opulence -- First Avenue didn't have doors on its men's stalls until recently.
In Twin Cities clubs, bathrooms range from the remarkable to the ridiculous. Some, like the sanctuary inside the Loring Pasta Bar, are so comfy that you really won't want to leave. Others, though, might have you running for a big bottle of Ajax.
STILL THE SEXIEST: LORING PASTA BAR
327 14th Av. SE., Mpls. 612-378-4849.
The bathroom experience at the Loring, which resembles a Tim Burton fantasy, starts even before you reach the restrooms: The walls ebb and flow like waves of crashing brick. Inside, the fairy-tale landscape continues with window-pane stalls snuggled into the bubbling brick. There's a giant tin sink embraced by metallic branches. Fiery red and yellow mini-globes hang from the ceiling. And everything -- everything -- is exposed. There's exposed brick. Exposed paneling. Exposed pipes. What else needs exposing here? Oh. You. Meow!
NO WAITING: MYTH
3090 Southlawn Dr., Maplewood. 651-779-6984. www.mythnightclub.com
For eons, women have complained -- and rightfully so -- about long lines at nightclub restrooms. Thankfully, the porcelain gods have spoken. Behold: this gi-normous new suburban club presents you with 44 women's stalls -- 22 upstairs, 22 downstairs. Equality at last.
TECHNO-RESTROOM: FINE LINE MUSIC CAFE
318 1st Av. N., Mpls. 612-338-8100. www.finelinemusic.com
Most live-music fans would risk a bladder explosion before abandoning a great set to run to the restroom. The Fine Line has you covered. A flat-screen TV above the men's trough shows a live feed from the stage (there's a TV in the women's bathroom, too). Whizzing never sounded so good.
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS: SPIN
10 S. 5th St., Mpls. 612-333-5055. www.spinmn.com
At this posh club in downtown Minneapolis, there's a row of single women's bathrooms next to the second-level bar, each with a crystal-clear glass door. Revealing? Not really. The doors instantly fog up when you close them. How it's done, nobody knows. And nobody at Spin is talking, either.
PAMPER THYSELF: BELLANOTTE
600 Hennepin Av., Mpls. 612-339-7200. www.bellanottempls.com