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Posts about Naughty

More legal woes for Wesley Snipes

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: November 22, 2011 - 11:06 AM


Every day he waits for his agent to call and tell him they’re talking about “Blade 4.” TheWrap reports:


Wesley Snipes won't be leaving home with his American Express card anytime soon -- primarily because he's currently sitting in the slammer -- and that's probably a good thing.

 "Blade" star Snipes was slapped with a lawsuit in Orange County, Fla., Circuit Court on Friday by American Express, which claims that the actor racked up a $29,343 bill with them when he was still walking free.

The complaint is seeking that amount, plus interest, attorney fees and court costs.

That should be easy to prove. Mr. Snipes, is this your signature on the charge slip? Yes. And you’re not paying this $968 dinner tab . . . because? Because the restaurant has no authority over me, according to a little-known provision in the Constitution that prohibits tavern owners from seizing the property of another person across state lines without a writ from the posse comitatus. Uh huh. And why are you currently in jail? A difference of opinion over my interpretation of the Constitution. Uh huh. So, when you used your card to pay for these things, did you intend to pay? I invoke my Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.

Bottom line? They’ll be lucky to see half of it. Unless there’s a Blade 4, but the government probably has dibs on future earnings.

Actor arrested; actually had a career going, too

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: November 7, 2011 - 11:29 AM


Actor from “Criminal Minds” and “CSI” has a criminal mind, leading to a crime-scene investigation:


Actor Kesun Mitchell Loder, whose television credits include "CSI" and "ER," faces a court hearing in Wilmington on charges he attempted a burglary at a mobile phone store.

The StarNews of Wilmington reported  that the 18-year-old was arrested on charges of attempted breaking and entering, possession of burglary tools and carrying a concealed weapon. Loder's acting stage name is K'Sun Ray.

Because “Kesun” just isn’t distinctive enough.

Maccer's ex-wife sued for not paying hairdresser

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: October 19, 2011 - 1:32 PM


Maybe it’s just my honest, thrifty, Midwestern upbringing, but something tells me you shouldn’t pay $5,000 for a haircut if you can’t actually pay for it. On th other hand, there’s probably no better loan guarantee than “I’m about to get alimony from a former Beatle.” You can dine out for that on a while. Reuters says:


Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills has been sued by a Los Angeles hairdresser who claims the former reality TV show contestant failed to pay as much as $80,000 as she pursued stardom in Hollywood.

David Miramontes, who works under the name David Paul, claims in the lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Tuesday that he worked for Mills starting in 2005 and quit in 2008 after she repeatedly failed to pay him, saying she had no money until her divorce from the former Beatle was finalized.

Mills and McCartney ended their acrimonious marriage in 2008 and in December of that year, Mills began avoiding Miramontes. He prepared an invoice for $80,000, but it has yet to be paid. Miramontes charged as much as $5,000 per haircut for an out of office appointment, according to the lawsuit.

If you wanted the bargain rate of $4000, I suppose you had to go to his studio. Sure, $1000 seems steep for travel expenses, but there’s the limo, the driver, gas, champagne, six kinds of cheese, and all the other fortifications one makes for an arduous journey.

Jessica Rabbit called as character witness in trial

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: September 27, 2011 - 10:23 AM

Well, not really. But sort of. When do you know your court case isn’t going well? When your defense attorney starts quoting old cartoons:

A day after she was referred to as a "she-devil" by an Italian prosecutor, Amanda Knox was compared to Jessica Rabbit – the sultry cartoon character from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? – by a defense lawyer Tuesday.


Knox, who is appealing her 2009 conviction of murdering her roommate, is "not bad, she's just drawn that way," according to attorney Giulia Bongiorno, lawyer for Knox's boyfriend – and co-defendant – Raffaele Sollecito, 27.

Maybe he’s working up to Bugs Bunny’s old rabbit-season / duck-season routine, and hopes the prosecutor will end up furious, confused, and demanding that Knox be acquitted.

Trebek theft update

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: August 11, 2011 - 11:39 AM

Oh, the old “She couldn’t have stole the money, she’s a hooker” defense.

The lawyer for a San Francisco woman charged with breaking into the hotel room of "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek says his client is a prostitute, not a theif.

The San Francisco Examiner ( reports that attorney Mark Jacobs says his client, 56-year-old Lucinda Moyers, is a prostitute and was in a downtown San Francisco hotel to meet a john on July 26.

Prosecutors say Moyers stole $650, a bracelet and other items from a hotel room where Trebek was staying with his wife. The cash and bracelet were not recovered.

Moyers has pleaded not guilty to felony charges of burglary and possession of stolen property.

Wonder if Trebek will testify. Hey, I’ll bet he’ll admonish the attorney to put his questions in the form of an answer! Ha! See, because that’s how they do it on Jeopardy! Boy, I’ll bet no one writing about this or leaving comments on websites ever thought of that.

Criminal gets million-dollar movie deal

Posted by: James Lileks Updated: August 11, 2011 - 9:03 AM

Crime pays? Not so fast.

The young Washington state man dubbed the Barefoot Bandit after a cross-country crime spree brought him folk outlaw status has reportedly signed a movie deal worth as much as $1.3 million with 20th Century Fox.


The Daily Herald reports that the money will be used to help pay the minimum $1.4 million that 20-year-old Colton Harris-Moore owes in restitution to the victims of his two-year-long crime spree.


Seattle entertainment lawyer Lance Rosen negotiated the deal on Harris-Moore's behalf. He says it's an unusual amount of money to be paid for anyone's life story rights.


Harris-Moore pleaded guilty in June to seven federal felony charges. Sentencing is set for October. He still faces state court charges.

Depending on the creative team’s approach, it’ll either be Tragic Romantic Story of a rebel who couldn’t live by society’s stifling rules, and was thus forced to steal airplanes and burgle houses to fully realize his potential, or it’ll be a straight story that still gets your sympathies, like Mann’s movie about Dillinger. Either way, he won’t be at the premiere; he faces at least a decade in jail. Given the fact that he’s been a criminal since he started a housebreaking career at the age of 10, it’s a start. Although I’m sure his mother is outraged he’s doing any time at all. From a Time magazine piece:

He's been accused of stealing speedboats to travel to nearby islands to plunder empty homes. In November 2008, police suspect that Harris-Moore hot-wired a Cessna that belonged to a local radio DJ — he'd ordered a flying manual on the Internet — and crash-landed it 300 miles (about 480 km) east on an Indian reservation. Since then, he may have stolen two other planes, both of which were later found crashed. He apparently walked away from the wrecks, miraculously unharmed. On Fox News, Harris-Moore's mother Pam Kohler outraged her tut-tutting interviewer by saying, "I hope to hell he stole those planes. I'd be so proud. But next time, I want him to wear a parachute."

Lovely people. He has a Facebook fan page, too. And his very own ballad!



There are many more, if you’re interested.


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