Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: Here we are, charged with giving unasked-for advice, but ye olde mailbag is heavy with actual reader queries.
RN: They're not from our mothers, either. Shocking.
CP: What say you to devoted reader Karen, of Richfield, who despairs of her hubby's insistence on wearing white crewneck T-shirts under all his shirts?
RN: Relax. The situation could be far worse: He could be favoring those V-neck tees. Ugh.
CP: That's what I said, in my handwritten reply to Karen. BTW, she did say that she especially likes the "CP:" parts of the column.
RN: Yes, dear.
CP: The crewneck T looks OK, in a kind of hygienic preppy way, but it goes from slick to ick in a heartbeat if the undergarment is frayed, grayed, yellowed or just plain all stretched-out.
RN: Agreed. It's the new, agreeable me for 2010.
CP: What've you got against the V-neck, BTW?
RN: Its outlines have a propensity for showing through the shirt's fabric, as if the wearer is trying to hide the fact that he's sporting a T-shirt. At least with the crewneck, you're putting the undergarment's presence out there.
CP: Maude writes from Lake Elmo: "My fiancé is working my last nerve. He says it's greener to wear the heels on his shoes down to the nubbin, but I swear it's making me rethink this whole marriage thing. What to do? Please speed your reply, and help save our nuptials."
RN: She should take comfort in knowing that her hubby is 100 percent heterosexual. Have you ever heard of a gay man with sloping heels? Our people value the benefit of a $20-or-so investment at Fast Eddie's Shoe Repair in Dinkytown.
CP: Maude could do a fast Fast Eddie on a few pairs of her guypal's loafers. He may have trouble walking on the new heels, but he'll get used to it, and their love will surely prosper. It just feels good to do good, even if it's just with a heel.
RN: I know. How about this one? Luella of Hilltop, a faithful subscriber, wonders how to sell her husband on the benefits associated with regularly mowing the forest that sprouts on the back of his neck. Suggestions?
CP: Umm, he can't exactly be expected to do that himself, Luella. It's nearly impossible for him to see the hair, much less get at it without making things worse. So pick up those clippers and get all up in there. Make it fun. Play some Kylie Minogue. That always gets me in the mood for a shavedown.
RN: OK, too much information. How about them Vikings?
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