Withering Glance: Targetapolis

Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, relationships, grooming and more.

RN: I'm beginning to wonder when -- not if -- Minneapolis will change its name to Targetapolis.

CP: Yes. Or the Target Cities, instead of the Twin Cities. Add Target Field and Target Plaza to a long list that includes Target Center, Target Free Thursday nights at Walker Art Center, Target Holidazzle. ...

RN: It could be worse. Can you imagine Joe Mauer guarding home plate at Honey Nut Cheerios Field? But I hear you, that red-and-white logo is omnipresent: the Target Lounge at the Guthrie, the Target Stage at Harriet Island Regional Park, the Target Wing at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. The company throws cash at all kinds of high-profile institutions and events. Good for them.

CP: The bull's-eye is everywhere I turn. At the Walker Art Center's Saarinen party a few Fridays ago, I wiped my mouth with Target-logo'd napkins as Target-sponsored photos and moving Target logo spotlights were projected onto the white walls. I'm surprised the retailer didn't get permission to superimpose its ubiquitous logo onto Eero Saarinen's glasses in vintage photos. Or convince arts patron Sarah Pillsbury to swap her boiled-wool jacket for a Target T-shirt -- unless that would constitute a corporate conflict.

RN: You have to hand it to those Targetrons, they know how to get maximum saturation out of their philanthropic dollars. I do get a little irked when I see the company promoting how it has funneled 5 percent of its pretax profits to charity since 1948. It was the Dayton Co. that started that laudable program, 14 years before it gave birth to its first Target store. You remember Dayton's, don't you? It was the department store that Target renamed Marshall Field's before dumping it -- and a century of heritage -- in 2004.

CP: The retail giant could underwrite education with Target Teachers. I bet for the right donation, the mayor of Minneapolis would allow himself to be renamed R.T. Target. That has a nice ring to it, actually.

RN: Too bad the company just built a new SuperTarget in its original Edina location, rather than relocating to Southdale's former Meryvn's. They could have renamed the shopping center Targetdale.

CP: The ultimate Target marketing gimmick, though, has to be its sponsorship of the Aquatennial fireworks display. For that, viewers are given free 3-D glasses that turn the very night sky over downtown into millions of exploding Target logos. Call it Target Air. Now all we need is Target Earth, Wind and Fire.

RN: I think it's already available in Aisle 5.

E-mail: witheringglance@startribune.com.