C.J.: Hopkins grad's 'Royals' parody is rich

Lorde's multi-Grammy nominated, melancholy if whiny "Royals" has been augustly parodied by a creative Minnetonka artist billing herself as "Borde."

This must've written itself.

"Uh-huh, true," Molly Dworsky, the aforementioned Borde, said from Los Angeles on Wednesday. Dworsky spent her Thanksgiving visit to Minnesota shooting the parody on the campus of Hopkins High's Royals. She's a 2005 grad. The producer, director, writer and performer delivered a stellar skewering of "Royals" that had more than half a million hits on YouTube.com on Wednesday.

When I reached Al Dworsky's and Betsy Sansby's daughter in L.A., I wanted to know if she had become as sick of Lorde's teenage angst set to music as some of us. "I think I'm probably more sick of it than anybody," the 2011 University of Minnesota social work grad said.

Social work has been put on the back burner for the past year and half, as Dworsky pursues an improv comedy career. "My 2014 resolution is to do stand-up," she said.

Making a good living doing improv? "Hell no," Dworsky said with a laugh. "I have three jobs — waitress, landscaping and I teach Hebrew school on the weekends. I am wearing gardening gloves and planting in some rich person's yard," she said while on break at her landscaping job. This parody may be her big break.

"The video looks and sounds remarkably like the original, and so does Dworsky herself. The twist is that 'Getting old is so unfair!' in contrast to Lorde's unattainable queen bee fantasy. The tongue in cheek humor and candid introspection provide a hilarious look at the realities of adulthood. At times, she shares almost too much information," reads the LAT.
That may be a reference to these lyrics from Borde: "Growing old is so unfair/I just found a gray pubic hair."
"You know C.J., it's real," Dworski said. "It's either [a loss of pigmentation], or it's gray. But I found something."
Here's Lorde's original version (http://bit.ly/1jAPuck).

The new and improved Borde version: (http://bit.ly/1a1o6jH).

Enigma doesn't hide it

The Enigma may be feeling a little too comfortable around Market BBQ.

"He took his shirt off and was running around without his shirt," said Anthony Polski, owner-in-waiting.

The Seattle-born performance artist, whose body is smothered in tattoos while his head is implanted with horns, made what is becoming his annual stop by Market BBQ while here for an annual tattoo arts convention. On this visit there looked to be new illuminated trinkets around his mouth.

Polski's photo, here, with Enigma and his significant other, Serana Rose, may be better viewed after eating.

Happy birthday, Dolly!

Dolly Fiterman, the former fine arts gallery owner, said there would have been no way for her daughter, Kimberley Fiterman-Duepner, to plan a surprise 90th birthday celebration.

"She couldn't surprise me because I was always so nosy," Fiterman told me at the recent gala at the Oak Ridge Country Club in Hopkins. "She chased me out of the room a lot of times because I was looking over some of the things on the table. My dining-room table will never be the same, since Kimberley was there. She had papers and books and things strewn all over. Not only that, she had [things on] my fireplace, my living room, on the floor and on the ceiling."

As you can see from my startribune.com/video, there was no shortage of the color purple or memorabilia at the party for 150, which attracted notables and characters.

I cannot even tell readers about the cuff links an artsy interior designer for Abitare Design Studio wanted to make sure I caught on video. Sorry, too racy.

Racy enough was the conversation with Kathryn Sternberg, her daughter Stacy Sternberg and their Minnesota friend Eilene Shadler.

Kathryn was calling attention to what she claimed were her daughter's new boobs, which were somewhat on display. "They're not. They're two years old," Stacy corrected.

"I thought they were brand new?" Shadler said.

Earlier, before the fun people at the party found me, Shadler said another partygoer walked up to Stacy and said, Those are beautiful boots. "And I thought she said boobs, and I said, 'How can she tell that they're new?!' "

In a phone call later, Shadler told me the Sternbergs are from Vegas and that Stacy is a nuclear physicist. A scientist? "A scientist of great caliber," Shadler stressed, "and now she's got the new boobs to prove it."

Not new, two years old.

C.J. can be reached at cj@startribune.com and seen on Fox 9's "Buzz." E-mailers, please state a subject; "Hello" does not count. Attachments are not opened.