A I don’t know. Are you asking me about a human? Is this a psychic question? Ask me a real question.
Q Who will be in Super Bowl 2014?
A I don’t watch football, except I watch the Vikings once in a while.
Q How about a stock tip? (Attempt to redirect the interview No. 1, coming up.)
A Let me tell you about you?
Q I know about me. Besides, I’ve been featured in plenty of magazine interviews, the contents of which I have forgotten, that you could have read as research to wow me.
A I haven’t looked at any of the articles about you.
Q What scares you?
A I get scared at real haunted houses. If there’s a spooky house, I get scared, seriously.
Q My problem with Halloween is that it seems to make light of death, which looks fairly heavy to me. Help me see another perspective.
A It’s also about celebrating death, because it’s also around the Day of the Dead ... we’re celebrating people we’ve lost. They say the veil gets thin so you can actually talk to the dead relatives more easily than you could at other times. At one time, using Halloween costumes was to scare away spirits. But now it’s more considered, in spiritual terms, the thinning of the veil. It’s the easier way to talk to your dead relatives.
Q Do you see dead people?