Catching up with the left-wing hothead.
Q Are you still for Trump in 2012?
A I can't believe he says, "I'm going to run for president" and there are no adults in the room that go "No." You can run because you have the right to run, but you shouldn't. You should do what it is that you do, and when we figure out what it is you're doing, that'll be great. Within a week he got in touch with my agent saying he wanted to talk to me. I've done comedy for 22 years and no one has ever tried to get in touch with me. Even Glenn Beck. My immediate reaction was I wanted to lie down and take a nap. I'm not going to talk to Donald Trump.
Q Are you aware of Michele Bachmann's presidential aspirations?
A Of course! Who gave her a college degree? And how did she get through law school? If she really is going to run ... for me, as a comic, it's like a brighter tomorrow. If Michele Bachmann is running for president, I'm running my mother. She's 92 and is more than well-qualified.
Q Why aren't you on Twitter?
A Am I supposed to be? I don't get it. I don't follow it. I don't understand it. I've started screaming about it because I find it mildly obnoxious. We'll get to the point where people will just rub their heads against each other and that will be communication.
The Air Guitar Championships were so 2008. Now comes the Air Sex World Championships. This Saturday, the touring competition will bring the sport of imaginary sex acts to the Nomad World Pub. On stage, contestants will simulate the wildest sex they can imagine with an invisible partner. Curmudgeons: Commence head-shaking now. The competition, which began in 2009, has spread to cities nationwide, with the finale -- er, climax -- set for Austin, Texas, later this year. Contestants have two minutes (sounds about right) to perform their simulated sex act to the music of their choice. Judges and the audience determine the winner. There are a few rules, such as no nudity. But according to the Air Sex website, the "only important rule is that all sexual climaxes must be simulated, not real." Intense. Nomad owner Todd Smith said he did a double take when the West Bank bar was first approached about the event. "We didn't know if it was real," he said. To get a whiff of this craziness, check out videos from past Air Sex Championships on its YouTube channel. The visuals are hard-core, for lack of a better word.