Staff Directory 10754366

Carolyn Hax

Columnist | Relationships
Carolyn Hax is a 40-something repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes. Her column, "Tell Me About It," appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
Recent content from Carolyn Hax

Hax: Mother-in-law's visit was a bit much, and she wants to return

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law and her husband used to come to the city where my husband and I live about…

Hax: Boyfriend fails to accept responsibility

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Is there any way to determine when someone is telling the truth about wanting to change? In…

Hax: What to do when motivation is absent

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: While I did very well in school and attended a prestigious university, I can’t help but feel…

Hax: How best to handle clandestine video?

Dear Carolyn: Years ago, on the morning after a wild party, I inadvertently captured on video a friend's plea to keep an extramarital affair secret…

Hax: Know yourself to better yourself

Dear Carolyn: How much should you care about what other people think of you?The answer that jumps to mind is probably "Not at all!" but…

Hax: Husband failing to commit to starting a family

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been together 10 years and married for three. We have had a lot of conversations about our relationship…

Hax: Don't belabor the spacing of births

Dear Carolyn: I have a 5-month-old son, and my husband and I just found out we're expecting again! While we had planned to have our…

Hax: Daughter doesn't need to be coddled

Dear Carolyn: My daughter, 12, has had the same best friend since she was 5. I also work with her mom. Last year my daughter…

Hax: Sibling stands ready to offer sex advice

Dear Carolyn: I am 28 and have a little brother who is 16. He is smart, funny, kind and an all-around good kid. He is…

Hax: Don't abandon friend over his wife's behavior

Dear Carolyn: I have a great friend who I have kept some distance from, and sitting in my inbox is an e-mail from him asking…

Hax: Joy of new grandchild is lost on Grandma

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: My wife and I welcomed our first child in January. Before our daughter was born,…

Hax: Friends fail her in a time of need

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This previously ran. Dear Carolyn: I’m a middle-aged woman who has never married. The only family I’m in contact with…

Hax: Parents are clueless over name change

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: I am almost 50, a single mom to an awesome 9-year-old daughter. My parents…

Hax: Sleepover nixed; Grandma is miffed

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2014.   Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law wants my 5-year-old to sleep over at her house.…

Hax: Wedding booze decisions divide couple

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column has previously run. Dear Carolyn: I have never been a drinker. My mother and two groomsmen have drinking…

Hax: Smells like a $3K shakedown of bride's father

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2008.Dear Carolyn: My daughter is getting married next summer. Her father had an affair and…

Hax: Groom's parents snub gay friend

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2008.   Dear Carolyn: Not long ago, a good friend of mine asked me…

Hax: Angry words to Mom hang in the air

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: I am a 17-year-old high school senior. Up until a few days ago, my mom…

Hax: Give relationship a good, hard look

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column is from 2008.Dear Carolyn: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He…

Hax: Reader's choice in men warrants therapy

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on Oct. 25, 2013.   Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing someone very nice and we…

Hax: Wife's non-career is stirring resentment

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column has previously run.   Dear Carolyn: My wife and I have been married nine years, and it’s starting…

Hax: Sister boasts of her braininess

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on July 14, 2013. Dear Carolyn: I have always been the smart one. The sister was…

Hax: Trying to move past mom's lack of support after coming out

Dear Carolyn: My mom spent a decade telling me that if various family members found out I'm gay, it would make them depressed/have heart attacks/die.…

Hax: Be honest with mean kid's mother

Dear Carolyn: What should a parent say when the other parent knows they have a mean kid? My 7-year-old son has recently decided to take…

Hax: His faith falleth: What to tell wife?

Dear Carolyn: I have been an average churchgoer my whole life, but recently I've found myself moving further and further from organized religion. I have…

Hax: Kicking out husband was the right move

Dear Carolyn: I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I tried denying it, ignoring it, running away from it for about 30 years. It…

Hax: After breakup, accept the agony

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I recently broke up. When we started dating, she had told me she still had some feelings for her ex.…

Hax: Let grandparents shortchange themselves

Dear Carolyn: My husband’s parents favor their daughter and her children over my family and his brother’s family. Their daughter is aware of it, and…

Hax: Daughter's live-in rankles this parent

Dear Carolyn: My daughter is 31, a college grad with a career she loves. And she lives with her boyfriend she met in college. Problem:…

Hax: Grandma is grumpy in shared household

Dear Carolyn: My family of three recently moved from the West Coast to the East Coast, where my family lives. At the urging of my…

Hax: Who stays where is bothering her

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I were doing long-distance for a while, and a few months ago he moved to D.C. We live 20 to…

Hax: Couple diverge on household tasks

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost eight months, and we still each live separately and have our own…

Hax: Choose the right way to battle insecurity

Dear Carolyn: I made the mistake of looking up my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend and discovered she’s beautiful and accomplished. They broke up over a year before…

Hax: Stand fast or bend on house rules?

Dear Carolyn: Our nephew, with whom we are very close, wants to visit us for a few days with his girlfriend. They live together, but…

Hax: Long-lost friend deserves a second chance

Dear Carolyn: I had a college friend until age 35, when he started dating and then married a girl who was not only entirely uninterested…

Hax: Seize the advantage in family dynamic

Dear Carolyn: I am in grad school and living in my parents’ house. There are many issues that arise as an adult living at home,…

Hax: Mom's not buying this amicable breakup

Dear Carolyn: By mutual agreement, my ex and I ended our six-year relationship last year. We’ve remained friendly because we recognize that we simply grew…

Hax: Boyfriend's 'tough love' is tough to take

Dear Carolyn: I was out for dinner with my boyfriend and his family and one of his friends last week. I was the only one…

Hax: 'Grief police' show insensitivity

Dear Carolyn: My mom died suddenly six months ago after 50-plus years of marriage. My dad has largely moved on, and is even more active…

Hax: Emotional pain is added to physical

Dear Carolyn: I've gone through some health challenges. Nothing that is likely to kill me, but I've spent literally years in pain and my life…

Hax: Pay at least part of college expenses

While I’m away, readers give the advice.   On a college student’s resistance to parental control: Show your real independence. Ease the financial burden on…

Hax: Here's a way to be sure about tattoos

While I’m away, readers give the advice. On counseling a young adult against getting tattoos: I met a gentleman with beautiful tattoos. He had a…

Hax: Ignore parents who play favorites

While I'm away, readers give the advice.On parents who play favorites:By the time I was in my 40s — and after beating my head against…

Hax: She doesn't want to lose him again

Carolyn: A good friend and I had strong feelings for each other but I (foolishly) would not break up my long-term relationship for him.…

Hax: Dating dryspell has mom worried

Dear Carolyn: My 22-year-old daughter is lovely, kind and smart. She rarely dated in high school, and this was a big disappointment for her,…

Hax: Friend's death sparked romance

Dear Carolyn: One of my best friends committed suicide two years ago, devastating both me and our group of friends. It's been an incredibly…

Hax: Feeling helpless over brother's cancer

Carolyn: My younger brother, 29, was recently diagnosed with cancer. He’s the healthy, extremely fit one of the family, so it is extremely unexpected.…

Hax: Neglected dog poses family dilemma

Dear Carolyn: My brother-in-law recently lost his apartment, so my husband and I offered to watch his dog while he finds a new place…

Carolyn Hax: Parenting a two-person job

Dear Carolyn: I could use some perspective here. My husband and I recently had a baby. After three months of maternity leave, I went…

Hax: How to convey that grief is not gone

Dear Carolyn: My mom died suddenly a year ago. I've had several friends make comments to the effect that it must be good to be…

Hax: Gifts for teachers go unacknowledged

Dear Carolyn: My daughter suffers from general anxiety and just finished middle school. To thank her teachers for helping her through her moments of panic,…

Hax: Treat wife's compulsion with compassion

Dear Carolyn: Is there anything I can do to get my wife to suspend a habit for a few months? A family wedding is coming…

Hax: Silent treatment is always mistreatment

Dear Carolyn: I wanted to chime in on your oft-repeated statement that the silent treatment is emotional abuse. Sometimes people are silent because they are…

Hax: She's weighed down by self-criticism

Dear Carolyn: I have gained an awful amount of weight in the past year. I am tall, so I can carry some of it, but…

Hax: Close friend is distant since his marriage

Dear Carolyn: I’m a forty-something guy, married with three kids. My best friend/college buddy married a few years back, had his first kid a year…

Hax: Couple weigh city life versus suburbs

Dear Carolyn: Do you have any general advice on how to make big decisions? My husband and I are trying to decide if we're going…

Hax: Invite alcoholic to a boozy party?

Dear Carolyn: I'm throwing a large party this weekend and know, based upon the bar I'm setting out and the guests I've invited, there will…

Hax: Mother and daughter could both use Al-Anon

Dear Carolyn: My adult brother is in rehab for the second time in two years. My mother is understandably upset and wants to talk about…

Hax: Feeling lonely amid Dad's new life

Dear Carolyn: After many years of being single, my dad is getting married soon to a woman he loves very much. She has two daughters,…

Hax: Grandma wants to overstay her welcome

Dear Carolyn: Today my parents informed me (not asking) that they’re coming to town for a month when my second baby is born, renting a…

Hax: Without truth-telling, this marriage is doomed

Dear Carolyn: I've been separated from my wife of 19 years and three kids for a few months. The separation stemmed from my infidelity —…

Hax: Take in the big picture when planning funeral

Dear Carolyn: My mother has Stage 4 breast cancer and is near death. My family has begun to discuss funeral arrangements. Having lived in their…

Hax: Traditions of dating are yours to make

Dear Carolyn: I thought you were right on about who pays for dates — you were correct to suggest kindness. However, I think your answer…

Hax: He finds women, in general, untrustworthy

Dear Carolyn: How do you know if you have good instincts when it comes to trusting people? I like to pride myself on that. Maybe…

Hax: Stepmom proposes an unwanted bridal shower

Dear Carolyn: My stepmom wants to throw me a totally inappropriate bridal shower with her extended family. Her extended family who isn’t invited to our…

Hax: Daughter, 6, notices her humble household

Dear Carolyn: My daughter, 6, has just begun noticing that many of her friends have much nicer homes than we do. For a variety of…

Hax: Find the reward in thankless task

Dear Carolyn: I play for a high school sports team that had only one senior this year. Nobody is particularly fond of this player, but…

Hax: Make a plan for visiting parents

Dear Carolyn: I always learned growing up that if I didn't have the money for something, I shouldn't buy it. As an adult, I make…

Hax: Protect daughter from suspect aunt

Dear Carolyn: Our daughter is 12. My sister-in-law is crazy about her, but she's also overbearing and controlling. Our daughter doesn't like to spend time…

Hax: Hand-wringing over hand-holding

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend has hang-ups about being touched in public. If we’re walking side-by-side or weaving through crowds, he does not want to hold…

Hax: Fiancé was a little too truthful

Dear Carolyn: I am soon to be married. I just found out that my fiancé's friend, who is in our wedding party, said my fiancé…

Hax: Girlfriend has clearly crossed a line

Dear Carolyn: I am a working professional with twin 9-year-old boys, and my girlfriend recently moved in. I have the boys only a couple of…

Hax: Weight war with Mom calls for counterattack

Dear Carolyn: My mother and I have been having a “weight war” since I was a child and it’s growing old. As a child (older,…

Hax: Noisy neighbors or a bad building?

Dear Carolyn: I live in an apartment building and a family with four kids lives in the apartment above us. They are so loud all…

Hax: Wife exhibiting signs of depression

Dear Carolyn: When my wife and I got engaged 17 years ago, she was healthy, cheerful and gainfully employed. Two months after the engagement she…
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