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Carolyn Hax

Columnist | Relationships
Carolyn Hax is a 40-something repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes. Her column, "Tell Me About It," appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
Recent content from Carolyn Hax

Hax: Will her boyfriend and parents hit it off?

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend is the smartest, most cultured man I've ever known. One of his great abilities is his appreciation for nuance. I love…

Hax: Sibling should appreciate brother's elder care

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My siblings are arguing over my elderly mother’s finances. My brother (60-plus) lives with Mom (80-plus) but…

Hax: Options for dealing with depression

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I suffer from depression that has been fairly well controlled until recently. The past couple of weeks,…

Hax: Cheater sets up 'slow torture' risk

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My husband is having an affair and plans to leave me for his affair partner. She is a…

Hax: Should 'Steve' be called 'Grandpa'?

Dear Carolyn: My mother’s boyfriend of seven years, “Steve,” is not a horrible person, but he is difficult. He is a classic know-it-all, and regularly…

Hax: New guy balks at exclusivity clause

Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing a guy who seems perfect for me. Maybe. He’s a bit different from men I’ve dated in the past,…

Hax: In-laws' quarreling disrupts vacations

Dear Carolyn: We just returned from a week at the lake with our two grown kids, their significant others, and other family members from both…

Carolyn Hax: Mom should protect child from bullying grandma

Carolyn Hax is away. In her absence, we are running columns from her archive.   Dear Carolyn: How can I help my daughter,…

Hax: Nieces, nephews present a gift quandary

Dear Carolyn: My sister has four school-age children, and my nieces and nephews have, quite frankly, had to do without.My oldest niece (who is on…

Hax: Give sister-in-law the benefit of doubt

Dear Carolyn: Last summer, my sister-in-law cheated on my brother. It was a months-long affair that continued even after my brother found out about it,…

Hax: Family's culture complicates upcoming wedding

Dear Carolyn: Long story short, my Indian parents (and by extension my sibs) do not like my significant other because he is a white, non-college-educated…

Hax: Try to see "loans" as safety net for sibs

Dear Carolyn: My 88-year-old father recently informed me that he's decided to change his will. I have four sisters and brothers, and three have taken…

Hax: Son's plan to join Marines a concern

Dear Carolyn: My 20-year-old son wants to enlist in the Marines. He is a very smart kid who was accepted to several good colleges and…

Hax: Weight gain is only part of the problem

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend of two years could stand to lose about 20 pounds, which would result in increased energy (she spends a lot of…

Hax: Bromance gets in the way of romance

Dear Carolyn: I'm a forty-something woman living with a thirty-something man. I wanted to be engaged first, but he wasn't ready and insisted this was…

Hax: Brother's children deserve truth to be told

Dear Carolyn: My brother and sister-in-law are going through an ugly divorce — with her alleging emotional abuse, him trying to get shared custody of…

Hax: Daughter's divorce leaves her in dark anger

Dear Carolyn: My daughter is doing very well post-divorce. I can't shake the anger I have for her ex, though. He left the marriage for…

Hax: When to reveal a secret sibling?

Dear Carolyn: In a nutshell, I have children with my wife and also a child outside of my marriage with another woman due to infidelity.…

Hax: Boyfriend's grief needs to be treated with care

Dear Carolyn: Is there a limit to how long one must indulge their partner's grieving period?To make a long story short, my boyfriend's father committed…

Hax: Caution advised on forming new family

Dear Carolyn: I am a 32-year-old woman who has been dating a wonderful man for a little over a year. We are now making lifelong…

Hax: Middle-school cruelty still haunts

Dear Carolyn: I'm 40 with a wonderful family and fulfilling career. Occasionally I am consumed with regret for past behavior. In middle school, there was…

Hax: Affairs put marriage on shaky ground

Hi, Carolyn: A year ago (and a year after my wedding) I found out that during the wedding planning, my spouse had an affair. Since…

Hax: Aunt wants to have 'the talk' with teen niece

Dear Carolyn: My niece just turned 15. Physically, she reminds me of myself at her age — she looks about 19. I lost my virginity…

Hax: Wife's fun with kids hurts husband

Dear Carolyn: When we had kids, I stayed home with them while my husband worked, sometimes with long hours and lots of traveling. I got…

Hax: Parents' love always feels conditional

Dear Carolyn: How do you deal with a family member's "conditional" love? I'm in my mid-30s, and am one of those kids who did not live out their parents' dream, but have a sibling who did. In my heart, I know they are good people, but they seem to be supportive of everyone around me and not me.

Carolyn Hax: Mother-in-laws destructive ways have to stop

Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law pats my daughter's belly after dinner and says, "That's disgusting! Look at that round belly! How horrible!" She's kind of joking, but I don't like it. My daughter is 1, but I still don't like it. And other female relatives have said Mother-in-Law's comments had a big effect on them. She's in her late 70s -- I don't think she's going to change much. So how do I counter the comments, brush them off, drown her out?