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Carolyn Hax

Columnist | Relationships
Carolyn Hax is a 40-something repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes. Her column, "Tell Me About It," appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
Recent content from Carolyn Hax

Hax: Cheater needs to face his reality

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared in 2003. Dear Carolyn: I just got married to my girlfriend of 11 years (high school sweetheart).…

Hax: Bow out of beach vacation gracefully

Dear Carolyn: Please help me. My older sister and family go to the beach yearly for a week and stay together in a condo. Same…

Hax: Dad's wife is an irritating e-mailer

Dear Carolyn: My father’s wife sends several political e-mails a day to her blind-carbon-copied distribution list. I’m on that list. She knows we are not…

Hax: Stay in contact with at-risk friend

Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My best friend is getting married in about five months to her boyfriend of six years, a very…

Hax: Respect and invite daughter's girlfriend

Dear Carolyn: We retired to Washington, D.C., to be near our daughters and grandchildren. We have enjoyed several weeklong family vacations at nearby locations. This…

Hax: Show friend that you have his back

Dear Carolyn: We have a friend, “Allen,” who has recently lost touch with us and who we believe is being manipulated and emotionally abused by…

Hax: Partner exhibits controlling behavior

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: Do you think it's possible to "just stop feeling resentful" when you are repeatedly coerced into situations you…

Hax: What to do when others' kids are 'not nice'

Dear Carolyn: What's the best way to deal with another toddler who gets physically rough with my 1-year-old daughter?I have two examples. The first, a…

Hax: Motherhood visits two friends differently

Dear Carolyn: I became pregnant at a young age, unplanned, and have been married and raising my child since. My friend traveled the more traditional…

Hax: Mom is short of sleep and short of temper

Dear Carolyn: I'm going through a spell where I can't get it together enough to be nicer to my husband. I always apologize, but pretty…

Hax: How to avoid telling white lies

Dear Carolyn: A neighbor invited my daughter for a play date and Daughter didn't want to play with that friend. I told the mom I…

Hax: More is going on than just a dropped call

Dear Carolyn: The scenario, as unbiased as I can present it: History: Wife never calls husband during day to chat. Today: Wife is dropping…

Hax: His fiancée is as petty as a (poor) picture

Dear Carolyn: I’ve known for a while that my parents are not my fiancée’s favorite people, and didn’t totally understand why until my fiancée recently…

Hax: Engagement ends and work begins

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I recently called off our engagement due to some flirtatious messages she found on my phone. I can say honestly…

Hax: Wife is advised to know herself first

Dear Carolyn: I’m from the U.K. I’m married to a man who is a self-professed arrogant liar. He’s proud of it. I am not. We…

Hax: How to deflect unwanted advice

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I love my sister-in-law, but she is the queen of unsolicited advice. Any conversation about my work, our…

Hax: Present a unified front against abusive in-laws

Dear Carolyn: I have been married for over 30 years and throughout the marriage, my in-laws have made fun of my interests and certain traits…

Hax: He's seeking a way to rekindle romance

Dear Carolyn: Several years ago, I was in a long-term relationship that kind of fizzled out. Before that both of us had talked about getting…

Hax: At recurring dinner, hostility is served

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been going to dinner nearly every Friday night for years with another couple, "Kay" and "Jay." My husband…

Hax: Grandson being treated like a toy

Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law treats my son like a toy who is there to amuse her on her terms and show off to her friends.…

Hax: 5-year-old needs to act like a kid

Dear Carolyn: My son turned 5 right before the school year started. He’s clever and capable, but really struggling to sit still, pay attention, perform…

Hax: Bride-to-be wants to exclude Dad's girlfriend

Dear Carolyn: My mom died suddenly a year and a half ago at age 58. She was the best, basically; her only fault was her…

Hax: No birthday joy after mom's death

Adapted from a recent online discussion.   Dear Carolyn: It’s my birthday today, and my first since my mom passed away last year. I am…

Hax: Mom disregards food allergy concerns

Dear Carolyn: My mom is big on having holiday dinner gatherings. I have food allergies that can make eating out or eating food made by…

Hax: Stand tall against meanie mother-in-law

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law has zero respect for boundaries. On a recent visit, she told us we were raising our…

Hax: Beau is bothered by boyfriend's bro

Carolyn Hax is away. The following column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend of two years and my roommate, an old buddy from high school, don't…

Hax: Good intentions upset his girlfriend

Carolyn Hax is away. The following column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: I told my live-in girlfriend yesterday evening that earlier in the day I had noticed…

Hax: Finding harmony in mixed-faith marriage

While I'm away, readers give the advice.On mixing faiths in marriageMy wife and I of 40 years of marriage, she a Presbyterian and I a…

Hax: Expecting too much of houseguest?

Dear Carolyn: I have been married 10 years and have two children, 7 and 9. We have no family in our city and I have…

Hax: Playing favorites with parents' time

Dear Carolyn: After another weekend hosting my parents, I’m at a loss for how to end a recurring fight with my mother. She perceives that…

Hax: Husband shows a failure to launch

Dear Carolyn: I married an aimless man. He is six years my junior and I love him more than anything in life; he is, in…

Hax: Distance yourself from PTSD triggers

Dear Carolyn: I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. I have been severely restricting my exposure to the topic that triggered the initial breakdown, which nearly…

Hax: Friends reveal their bigoted side

Dear Carolyn: Two friends have recently expressed bigoted views, and I have been left devastated and confused. These people have been truly great and supportive…

Hax: Love interest is a bit antisocial on social media

Dear Carolyn: I was dating a woman for several months. She's so great in person: kind, smart, great outlook on life, fun, etc. I had…

Hax: Confront racist comments on the spot

Dear Carolyn: A friend of mine has a sweet and innocent persona, but frequently makes racist comments that I and others find off-putting. For example,…

Hax: Upstairs neighbor talks tough to her son

Dear Carolyn: My wife and I live in a duplex below a divorced single mom and her 9-year-old son. He seems to split time with…

Hax: This guy just isn't into marriage, kids

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I have been dating a nice guy for a little over a month. He is sweet and affectionate.…

Hax: Helping husband to get more involved

Dear Carolyn: Any tips for when your spouse reasonably informs you he is afraid you’re spending all your emotional and organization energy on the kids?…

Hax: In 'a weird place' over sister, friend

Dear Carolyn: I have a best friend whom I have known since I was in high school. She has also been best friends with my…

Hax: Accept gift from couple who have been insulting?

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I just received a package that’s likely to be a Christmas gift from my brother and sister-in-law. They have been…

Hax: Don't fall apart after a breakup

Dear Carolyn: I’m 25 and my boyfriend of five years just broke up with me. I was blindsided — I had been going through a…

Hax: When ethics and friendship collide

Dear Carolyn: I am a staunch supporter of animal rights. Recently, a friend of over 20 years who has an organic vegetable farming business told…

Hax: She's fed up with breastfeeding banter

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are expecting our first child. It's still many months away, but my husband has been escalating his talk of…

Hax: How best to react to boozy phone call

Dear Carolyn: I've been friends with this guy for more than 10 years, as a part of our friend group. Nothing romantic has ever happened…

Hax: Some ways to manage an unreliable ex

Dear Carolyn: My ex just missed my daughter's birthday. He was supposed to see her today and apparently forgot all about it. She's 5. I'm…

Hax: Wife's words are emotionally abusive

Dear Carolyn: My wife and I have been married for 28 years. Ninety-five percent of the time we get along great. We have both had…

Hax: How best to deal with a contrarian

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are in our late 20s, living together, three hours away from our respective parents. We both grew up generally…

Hax: After betrayal, a new game plan

Dear Carolyn: I recently caught my husband, 66, in an emotional and sexting affair with another woman, 53. We have been married 25 years and…

Hax: Mother-in-law's visit was a bit much, and she wants to return

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law and her husband used to come to the city where my husband and I live about…

Hax: Boyfriend fails to accept responsibility

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Is there any way to determine when someone is telling the truth about wanting to change? In…

Hax: What to do when motivation is absent

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: While I did very well in school and attended a prestigious university, I can’t help but feel…

Hax: How best to handle clandestine video?

Dear Carolyn: Years ago, on the morning after a wild party, I inadvertently captured on video a friend's plea to keep an extramarital affair secret…

Hax: Know yourself to better yourself

Dear Carolyn: How much should you care about what other people think of you?The answer that jumps to mind is probably "Not at all!" but…

Hax: Husband failing to commit to starting a family

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been together 10 years and married for three. We have had a lot of conversations about our relationship…

Hax: Don't belabor the spacing of births

Dear Carolyn: I have a 5-month-old son, and my husband and I just found out we're expecting again! While we had planned to have our…

Hax: Daughter doesn't need to be coddled

Dear Carolyn: My daughter, 12, has had the same best friend since she was 5. I also work with her mom. Last year my daughter…

Hax: Sibling stands ready to offer sex advice

Dear Carolyn: I am 28 and have a little brother who is 16. He is smart, funny, kind and an all-around good kid. He is…

Hax: Don't abandon friend over his wife's behavior

Dear Carolyn: I have a great friend who I have kept some distance from, and sitting in my inbox is an e-mail from him asking…

Hax: Joy of new grandchild is lost on Grandma

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: My wife and I welcomed our first child in January. Before our daughter was born,…

Hax: Friends fail her in a time of need

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This previously ran. Dear Carolyn: I’m a middle-aged woman who has never married. The only family I’m in contact with…

Hax: Parents are clueless over name change

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: I am almost 50, a single mom to an awesome 9-year-old daughter. My parents…

Hax: Sleepover nixed; Grandma is miffed

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2014.   Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law wants my 5-year-old to sleep over at her house.…

Hax: Wedding booze decisions divide couple

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column has previously run. Dear Carolyn: I have never been a drinker. My mother and two groomsmen have drinking…

Hax: Smells like a $3K shakedown of bride's father

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2008.Dear Carolyn: My daughter is getting married next summer. Her father had an affair and…

Hax: Groom's parents snub gay friend

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran in 2008.   Dear Carolyn: Not long ago, a good friend of mine asked me…

Hax: Angry words to Mom hang in the air

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column previously ran.Dear Carolyn: I am a 17-year-old high school senior. Up until a few days ago, my mom…

Hax: Give relationship a good, hard look

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column is from 2008.Dear Carolyn: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He…

Hax: Reader's choice in men warrants therapy

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on Oct. 25, 2013.   Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing someone very nice and we…

Hax: Wife's non-career is stirring resentment

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column has previously run.   Dear Carolyn: My wife and I have been married nine years, and it’s starting…

Hax: New guy balks at exclusivity clause

Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing a guy who seems perfect for me. Maybe. He’s a bit different from men I’ve dated in the past,…

Hax: In-laws' quarreling disrupts vacations

Dear Carolyn: We just returned from a week at the lake with our two grown kids, their significant others, and other family members from both…

Carolyn Hax: Mom should protect child from bullying grandma

Carolyn Hax is away. In her absence, we are running columns from her archive.   Dear Carolyn: How can I help my daughter,…

Hax: Nieces, nephews present a gift quandary

Dear Carolyn: My sister has four school-age children, and my nieces and nephews have, quite frankly, had to do without.My oldest niece (who is on…

Hax: Give sister-in-law the benefit of doubt

Dear Carolyn: Last summer, my sister-in-law cheated on my brother. It was a months-long affair that continued even after my brother found out about it,…

Hax: Family's culture complicates upcoming wedding

Dear Carolyn: Long story short, my Indian parents (and by extension my sibs) do not like my significant other because he is a white, non-college-educated…
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