Staff Directory 10754366

Carolyn Hax

Columnist | Relationships
Carolyn Hax is a 40-something repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes. Her column, "Tell Me About It," appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
Recent content from Carolyn Hax

Hax: Family of nurse's boyfriend is thick as a brick

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I am a nurse, my boyfriend is a teacher. A lot of his family are teachers, too. My…

Hax: Don't cower if things go poorly

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I am finishing a training program and the ritual is a gathering with one of the senior…

Hax: Suddenly, Mom seems very mortal

Dear Carolyn: The holidays were great except ... my mother looks like she is dying. She had a significant fall the week before. Went to…

Hax: Hubby's bragging became a backfire

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, we were invited to skip our son "Johnny" ahead from first grade to second midyear.…

Hax: Stepdaughter's wedding plans cause pain

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband is a widower with three kids. His youngest daughter, “Danielle,” is getting married. My two…

Hax: Letting go of ex is best medicine

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I'm finding myself in one of those surreal stories where I invested years (six of them) in a…

Hax: Grappling with 'the mommy deadline'

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: How do women in their mid-30s who hope for biological children date without obsessing over looming questions about…

Hax: A wedding guest who has autism

Adapted from a recent online discussion.   Dear Carolyn: My daughter is getting married in a huge wedding, 300 guests. My son is autistic and…

Hax: Potential stepdad has his doubts

Dear Carolyn: Is it advisable for a never-married man with no kids to get involved with a single mother? I know it's never a good…

Hax: Boyfriend can't see he's an abuse victim

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared in 2004. Dear Carolyn: I love my girlfriend — although she says I never say it enough.…

Hax: To earn wife's respect, earn your own

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared in 2004.   Dear Carolyn: My wife feels unfulfilled in our relationship and wants to move on.…

Hax: Address chaos by managing time strictly

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared in 2004.Dear Carolyn: Ack. I need some advice here. My mom is being treated for leukemia in…

Hax: 'Mediating' daughter's divorce is a terrible idea

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My daughter, "Belle," and her husband, "Ben," are getting divorced. Ben's parents have always said they love Belle,…

Hax: She's just not into the great outdoors

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I don’t like to go outside. I don’t really see the appeal. I enjoy indoor activities like…

Hax: Tell siblings about unfaithful late father?

Dear Carolyn: I'm the oldest child, with two younger brothers.My dad passed away about five years ago. My mom told me my dad cheated on…

Hax: Wife needs a 'restore/deplete' list

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I am a married woman with two elementary-age sons. I've often felt I do way more to help…

Hax: It takes a village to address bullying

Adapted from a recent online discussion.   Dear Carolyn: I have a middle-schooler with a group of friends at school. One friend has a habit…

Hax: Ex-wife constantly berates herself

Dear Carolyn: I interact with my husband's ex-wife, "Debby," almost weekly at the kid handoff and other kid-related events. She is one of the sweetest…

Hax: Time to address a failed marriage

Dear Carolyn: I've heard "life is too short" a lot lately. It makes me think I've wasted significant time, energy and money in a 23-year…

Hax: Is Auntie being too supportive?

Dear Carolyn: When my ex-husband and I divorced eight years ago, I got full custody of our daughter, "Jane," and remained great friends with his…

Hax: Aging mom has lost her baking touch

Dear Carolyn: My mom has always been a wonderful baker and has traditionally brought desserts to every family function. However, as she reaches her 70s,…

Hax: Parents tripping out over daughter's planned trip

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are both 19, and we'll be having our five-year anniversary this summer. We've dated…

Hax: Their marriage needs cleanup on Aisle 1

Dear Carolyn: My wife and I often grocery shop together. My wife will predictably identify something among my few items and ask that I return…

Hax: Second-guessing the rules of casual sex

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: Meet a guy online, engage in light "sexting," maybe even meet and have sex. Neither of us is…

Hax: Shy, pregnant and needs a transit seat

Adapted from a recent online discussion.   Dear Carolyn: I just entered the second trimester of my first pregnancy (very excited!) and had a fainting…

Hax: How to handle a loquacious lad

Dear Carolyn: My son is almost 9 and loves to chat, with his friends mostly. He pronounced 99 percent of the words perfectly, including their…

Hax: Attend wedding of her ex-husband?

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I married my high school sweetheart when we were both 25 — not because we were soul mates…

Hax: Flip the switch on child-care duties

Dear Carolyn: About four years ago, my husband and I decided to have another set of babies. Our older two were 9 and 7 at…

Hax: Is it a good idea to date a roommate?

Dear Carolyn: Four months ago I moved into a new place, and have fallen for one of my roommates. I want to ask her out,…

Hax: Sky diver's mother wants her to stop

Dear Carolyn: My daughter was recently injured in a sky diving accident and had surgery on a vertebra in her back; she sky-dives for fun…

Hax: Dealing with loss of a family tradition

Dear Carolyn: Our extended family — siblings and kids — have always gathered at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last week I got a text from my…

Hax: Family frowns at adoption idea

Dear Carolyn: I’m a single, independent woman in my late 20s. For various reasons, I’m pretty sure marriage is not in my future, and I…

Hax: New love interest lacks compassion toward homeless

Dear Carolyn: I've been dating this guy for about five months. I live in the city, he lives in the suburbs. Since I live where…

Hax: Should couple move or stay put?

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are at a crossroads, trying to decide between staying in our current city, near…

Hax: Build new relationship slowly and with honesty

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I am currently separated and have met someone who I fell for quickly. I don't know how to…

Hax: Partner's child is a grown-up 'brat'

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: We're going to see my partner's family, including her 25-year-old child, who has acted like a sullen brat…

Hax: Mere mention of name bothers her

Dear Carolyn: "Jeff" has been my best friend for almost 20 years; we've supported each other often during that time. A couple of years ago…

Hax: Live-in daughter and kids won't clean the house

Dear Carolyn: I bought a house about a year ago and my daughter and her three kids moved in with me. I am single and…

Hax: Wife finds herself in a secretive spot

Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law told me she questions her son's (my husband's) paternity. She claims her ex, his father, doesn't know. She said she wanted…

Hax: An adoption by any other name

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My son's best friend since middle school has been living in my guest room for a couple of…

Hax: Boy shooed away just for being male

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I have a daughter, and some other moms of daughters and I have started getting together at…

Hax: Teen's silence not golden to Mom

Dear Carolyn: I am struggling with my 14-year-old son. We have a happy family life at home, he gets good grades, plays sports and has…

Hax: Better-off friend complains a great deal

Dear Carolyn: I'm tearing my hair out over a friend whose life is demonstrably easier than mine in many ways, but who never stops complaining:…

Hax: Give reticent teen the gift of support

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Our 16-year-old son has always been taciturn — now he barely speaks to me. Our interactions have…

Hax: When guilt and pregnancy collide

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are expecting our first child in January. We are thrilled about this and are excited to be parents. I…

Hax: Away at college and feeling friendless

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: I graduated from high school with a close-knit group of friends who were all going to different colleges.…

Hax: Birthday party timing a grab for gifts?

Dear Carolyn: Our daughter’s classmate has a July birthday. Her parents always organize a birthday party for her shortly after school is in session, when…

Hax: More at stake than housework

Adapted from a recent online discussion.Dear Carolyn: When my girlfriend, "Claire," and I moved in together, we split the chores down the middle. It seemed…

Hax: What is her true goal about marriage?

Dear Carolyn: Is a separation cruel? Prolonging the inevitable? In counseling now but I feel claustrophobic, like we can't have a conversation without the weight…

Hax: Brother's 'name game' is really bullying

Dear Carolyn: My younger brother — we are both adults — calls me by an old name, one I was given at birth and have…

Hax: Mom entangled by daughters' ill will

Dear Carolyn: My young adult daughters have an ongoing issue: The younger feels her sister withholds support during many critical events in her life. The…

Hax: New guy balks at exclusivity clause

Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing a guy who seems perfect for me. Maybe. He’s a bit different from men I’ve dated in the past,…

Hax: In-laws' quarreling disrupts vacations

Dear Carolyn: We just returned from a week at the lake with our two grown kids, their significant others, and other family members from both…

Carolyn Hax: Mom should protect child from bullying grandma

Carolyn Hax is away. In her absence, we are running columns from her archive.   Dear Carolyn: How can I help my daughter,…

Hax: Nieces, nephews present a gift quandary

Dear Carolyn: My sister has four school-age children, and my nieces and nephews have, quite frankly, had to do without.My oldest niece (who is on…

Hax: Give sister-in-law the benefit of doubt

Dear Carolyn: Last summer, my sister-in-law cheated on my brother. It was a months-long affair that continued even after my brother found out about it,…

Hax: Family's culture complicates upcoming wedding

Dear Carolyn: Long story short, my Indian parents (and by extension my sibs) do not like my significant other because he is a white, non-college-educated…

Hax: Try to see "loans" as safety net for sibs

Dear Carolyn: My 88-year-old father recently informed me that he's decided to change his will. I have four sisters and brothers, and three have taken…

Hax: Son's plan to join Marines a concern

Dear Carolyn: My 20-year-old son wants to enlist in the Marines. He is a very smart kid who was accepted to several good colleges and…

Hax: Weight gain is only part of the problem

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend of two years could stand to lose about 20 pounds, which would result in increased energy (she spends a lot of…

Hax: Bromance gets in the way of romance

Dear Carolyn: I'm a forty-something woman living with a thirty-something man. I wanted to be engaged first, but he wasn't ready and insisted this was…

Hax: Brother's children deserve truth to be told

Dear Carolyn: My brother and sister-in-law are going through an ugly divorce — with her alleging emotional abuse, him trying to get shared custody of…

Hax: Daughter's divorce leaves her in dark anger

Dear Carolyn: My daughter is doing very well post-divorce. I can't shake the anger I have for her ex, though. He left the marriage for…

Hax: When to reveal a secret sibling?

Dear Carolyn: In a nutshell, I have children with my wife and also a child outside of my marriage with another woman due to infidelity.…

Hax: Boyfriend's grief needs to be treated with care

Dear Carolyn: Is there a limit to how long one must indulge their partner's grieving period?To make a long story short, my boyfriend's father committed…

Hax: Caution advised on forming new family

Dear Carolyn: I am a 32-year-old woman who has been dating a wonderful man for a little over a year. We are now making lifelong…

Hax: Middle-school cruelty still haunts

Dear Carolyn: I'm 40 with a wonderful family and fulfilling career. Occasionally I am consumed with regret for past behavior. In middle school, there was…

Hax: Affairs put marriage on shaky ground

Hi, Carolyn: A year ago (and a year after my wedding) I found out that during the wedding planning, my spouse had an affair. Since…

Hax: Aunt wants to have 'the talk' with teen niece

Dear Carolyn: My niece just turned 15. Physically, she reminds me of myself at her age — she looks about 19. I lost my virginity…

Hax: Wife's fun with kids hurts husband

Dear Carolyn: When we had kids, I stayed home with them while my husband worked, sometimes with long hours and lots of traveling. I got…

Hax: Parents' love always feels conditional

Dear Carolyn: How do you deal with a family member's "conditional" love? I'm in my mid-30s, and am one of those kids who did not live out their parents' dream, but have a sibling who did. In my heart, I know they are good people, but they seem to be supportive of everyone around me and not me.

Carolyn Hax: Mother-in-laws destructive ways have to stop

Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law pats my daughter's belly after dinner and says, "That's disgusting! Look at that round belly! How horrible!" She's kind of joking, but I don't like it. My daughter is 1, but I still don't like it. And other female relatives have said Mother-in-Law's comments had a big effect on them. She's in her late 70s -- I don't think she's going to change much. So how do I counter the comments, brush them off, drown her out?
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