Quitter sitters Breaking up with the baby sitter is not easy.

As with any relationship, some remain, some fade and some end not-so-great.

One baby sitter became too busy with a day job, college courses and activities. That breakup was initiated by her: "No, really, it's not you, it's me. I'm too busy to commit right now." It was amicable. The no-uncomfortable-moments-when-you-bump-into-each-other-at-the-grocery store kind of breakup.

Another was a no-show the last time she was supposed to sit. No call. Nada. I guess I ended that one in true Minnesota passive-aggressive form. The "Well, I'll show her. I'll just never call her again" kind of way.

Our most recent sitter had visitors in our house without our knowledge or permission. She must not have realized that our son tells us everything. I did stop, pause and ask her if she felt she needed to call for backup help with our kids. (Because, believe me, there have been times I wish I could.) No, that was not the case. So, I firmly let her know that what she did was not OK and we would no longer be calling her. Bye, bye baby sitter.

So, we need to start from scratch once again. Good sitters are hard to come by. You must trust them completely. They have to truly enjoy being with your kids, plus be responsible and mature enough to care for them.

I have some options. I've acquired a list of potential sitters from the church where our son goes to preschool. Then I got a phone number from a neighbor teen whom I met at our block party. Or we need to persuade the grandparents to move to the Twin Cities.

In the meantime, the search continues.

KAY KRHIN