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Continued: It's all about how you say it; here's how to say it better
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It's not just what you say; it's also how you say it. To make your words more memorable, use five techniques of style:
• Use ellipses to compress your sentence endings.
An ellipsis is the omission of a word or phrase that is suggested by the context, as in, "Susan wrote the first report, John wrote the second and Kathy wrote the third." or, "Susan wrote the first report, John the second and Kathy the third." As the words drop from the text, you still hear them in your head as you read.
• Use figurative language.
To enliven your writing, go beyond literal meaning. Use analogies, similes (comparisons using like and as) and metaphors (comparisons not using like and as). Note E.B. White's analogy in the trailing element of his sentence:
"Will [Strunk] himself had hung the tag 'little' on the book; he referred to it sardonically and with secret pride as 'the little book,' always giving the word 'little' a special twist, as though he were putting a spin on a ball."
• Use sentence beginnings for emphasis.
Though not every sentence lends itself to rearrangement for opening emphasis, some do. Compare "I have never felt more frustrated," with "Never have I felt more frustrated."
Move a two-word phrase forward in this sentence: "You have asked me twice now to respond to your requests on short notice."
• Use paragraph endings for emphasis.
A bold statement, vivid description or funny line at the end of a paragraph is more emphatic, vivid or amusing than one in the middle. Identify which sentence William Zinsser used to resolve this paragraph:
"All writing is ultimately a question of solving a problem. It may be a problem of where to obtain the facts, or how to organize the material. Whatever it is, it has to be confronted and solved. It may be a problem of approach or attitude, tone or style."
Zinsser concluded his paragraph with, "Whatever it is, it has to be confronted and solved."
• Subordinate to control your emphasis.
Use subordination to de-emphasize negative information and throw your emphasis to positive information. Compare, "Although his insights are invaluable, he gets on my nerves" with "Although he gets on my nerves, his insights are invaluable."
Revise the following sentences: "I cannot refund your money, but I will give you a 10 percent discount on your next purchase."
"My client was driving 85 miles an hour in a residential neighborhood, but no one was injured."
These tips are part of a longer list I'm working on. I've now written 22. When I get to 30, I'll call it a book. If you'd like to receive complimentary tips as I write them, sign up at www.wilbers.com/MonthlyTips.htm.
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