Which is better: the active voice or the passive voice?
Compare "I let go of the Cessna's strut and prayed my chute would open" with "The Cessna's strut was let go of and a prayer that my chute would open was said by me."
You may be thinking: As long as my chute opens, who cares?
Point taken, but in those examples the active voice, in which the subject of the sentence performs the action, is clearly better than the passive voice, in which the subject receives the action.
Compare "Over the holidays three dozen cookies were eaten and five books were read by me" with "Over the holidays I ate three dozen cookies and read five books." Again, the active voice is more direct, concise and emphatic.
The passive voice, however, is sometimes better for emphasis, diplomacy and flow.
1. Emphasis
Use the passive voice to emphasize the receiver rather than the performer of the action. Compare "I altered the wording to illustrate a point" with "The wording was altered to illustrate a point."
The active voice is more emphatic, but if the emphasis is on the act of altering the wording, the passive voice is better.
2. Diplomacy
Use the passive voice to avoid assigning blame. Compare "You mismanaged my investments" with "My investments were mismanaged."
Here the active voice sounds abrupt and accusatory, and the passive voice sounds diplomatic. When the actor ("by you") is omitted, as it is here, the passive voice is called the "diplomatic" or "truncated passive."
3. Flow
Use the passive voice to increase coherence by linking one sentence to the next. Compare "The wail of a loon awakened me. Anyone who has canoed the Boundary Waters wilderness of northern Minnesota has heard that haunting sound" with "I was awakened by the wail of a loon, a haunting sound heard by anyone who has canoed the Boundary Waters wilderness of northern Minnesota."
Note the two references to the bird's sound: wail of a loon and haunting sound. In the active sentences, they come far apart, at the beginning of the first sentence and the end of the second. In the passive clauses, the references are juxtaposed for a more coherent sequence, at the end of the first sentence and at the beginning of the trailing element.
Despite these examples, the active voice generally is better. For practice moving between the active and passive voice, change the passive to the active voice in these sentences:
"The journey over the river and through the wood was made by us to Grandfather's house. The way is known and the sleigh is carried by the horse through the white and drifted snow."
You know how Lydia Maria Child wrote the lyrics, but here they are anyway. (Don't let the inversion in the first sentence below fool you; although technically the verb is intransitive, it's still active sounding.)
"Over the river and through the wood to Grandfather's house we go. The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through the white and drifted snow."
Stephen Wilbers offers training seminars in effective business writing. E-mail him at wilbe004@umn.edu. His website is www.wilbers.com.
