Today’s predicted high temperature in St. Paul: 72 degrees. It only makes sense, then, that hockey season starts tonight. (Note: I know that the previous sentence is a non sequitur; I am working on it.) Toronto beat Detroit the other night — that’s the worst team in the Eastern Conference beating the best team in the Western Conference, for the uninitiated (by which I mean all of you), so clearly the world is ending. Let’s just try to all get through this with some weekend links.

*We of course must start this week with a hockey link: for this offense, Def Leppard must die.

*The Wolves just signed David Harrison, a center from Indiana … and Canis Hoopus notes that he seems to be a fine, upstanding young gentleman. Key quote (following a drug suspension): “I mean, a long time ago George Washington sat around, didn’t want to pay taxes to the crown. There’s other things going on, but the rudimentary part of our American revolution was we didn’t want to pay taxes. And we broke that rule and we have America today. You know, if we would’ve lost that war, George Washington would be Benedict Arnold.” Whoa. Heavy.

*If you’re not reading UConn defensive tackle Rob Lunn’s blog, you really should be, especially since he named it “Thoughts from a Fat White Guy.” After following it for a couple of weeks, I’m ready to anoint Lunn the “Paul Shirley of College Football.” The latest long-form post from Lunn discusses all manner of topics: how college players really feel about the bye week, how to make fried chicken, and some minor discussion of, uh, chemical warfare.

*The Joe Posnanski post of the week: who’s the most successful Jed in American history? Jed Lowrie is involved in the discussion, as is Brother Jed — and if you attended the University of Minnesota, you’ll know that second name.

Enjoy your Saturday, kids, and get set for the biggest Gopher game of the year: Minnesota vs. #1 Penn State! You know — volleyball! (Hey, if Patrick Reusse is writing colums  about them, it must be a major sport, since we know of Mr. Reusse’s usual disdain for minor sports.)

It’s been a couple of weeks, but it’s time to get back into the business of awarding a Commenter Of the Week. You should have plenty to choose from, including a whole host of enlightened thoughts on Magic Johnson. The winner will be notified by e-mail and be responsible for 300 robust words by noon Monday. Use your vote for good, not evil, and remind us why wearing tight trousers would ever be a bad thing.

When you combine Pro Football Talk with an anonymous source who is, in turn, providing speculation based on hearsay, you get a needle going crazy on the credibility meter. That said, we feel the need to share with you PFT’s explanation for why Cleveland Browns’ TE Kellen Winslow was taken to the hospital with an “undisclosed illness.” Sayeth PFT:

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his [redacteds] swelled to the size of grapefruits.

So there you have it. Not good.

The Detroit Lions have a fight song. We didn’t know that, but perhaps it’s not surprising. Hey, it’s even kind of cute. Here are the words:

Hail the colors Blue and Silver let them wave / Sing their song and cheer the Gridiron Heroes brave / Fighting for fame, winning the game / Dashing to victory as they go.

(Chorus)
Forward down the field / A charging team that will not yield / And when the Blue and Silver wave / Stand and cheer the brave / Rah, Rah, Rah.
Go hard, win the game / With honor you will keep your fame.
Down the field and gain / A Lion victory!

And here it is performed how it should be performed (chorus only): By a solitary man, playing an acoustic guitar, on a black-and-white video. Even The Cure finds it a little depressing.

The economy is in shambles. Your 401K can’t pay for a grilled cheese sandwich. But hey, in some parts of the country, things are just fine! Witness: you can purchase a Dallas Cowboys end zone package for the low, low price of half a million dollars! Granted, if you read the fine print, the Cowboys will donate the purchase price to charity. Alas, installation is not included! Really? Have a look/read for yourself (and thanks to Sassbottom for passing this along):

The new digs will be state-of-the-art, of course, but Texas Stadium is where America’s Team paid its dues … and grew its heart. It’s where a dynasty was built and where the Boys fought their way into seven NFL® Championships. To honor battles won and heroes lost over 38 glorious years, you can put 530 square yards of sporting history into your own backyard: An entire Cowboys Texas Stadium end zone. Our exclusive package also includes the VIP treatment for the last regular season Cowboys game in Texas Stadium. Your crew gets pre-game photos in your zone with Jerry Jones, a luxury suite for the game, and a once-in-a-lifetime post-game tailgate party on your soon-to be new backyard (with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, no less). There’s also autographed memorabilia from Cowboy legends, and a VIP package to attend the opening of the new stadium in 2009. Better yet, the Jerry Jones family and the Cowboys organization will generously donate the entire purchase price to The Salvation Army®. The perfect gift for envious buds? A framed 26″ x 36″ collage with a touchable section of the other end zone for their very own! (It’s a limited edition of 380, to celebrate 38 seasons at Texas Stadium.)

Yep, that’s what you get for $500,000 (installation not included, as we noted). Mortgage crisis averted! Everything is fine! Buy, buy, buy!