PHOTO from producers of DIY Network's "I Hate My Kitchen"

Nothing like a prolonged cold snap to induce a little self-examination. Or rather, house examination. All this time spent indoors has provided ample hours for a stark stock-taking. Dust balls: Check. Chipped dining room mopboards: Check. Shredded spot on the slipcover where the royal kit-kits have been clawing their way to the top: Check, check.

But the egregiousness of the aforementioned pales in comparison with the kitchen ceiling. It's edged all the way around with jaunty blue painter tape, left over from a first coat applied by The Mister...in July. It's still up there because we occasionally engage in an earnest discussion as to the alleged subpar quality of said first coat of paint. Impasse ensues. So the tape stays, a vivid slash of blue bordering bright orange walls. (Pumpkin Blush sounded tamer on the paint chip, but that's another story.) For those of you who actually complete your home improvement projects, the DIY Network's new show, "I Hate My Kitchen," is looking for 13 Twin Cities homeowners whose kitchens are prime for renovation. There are a few catches: your home must be no more than 25 miles from downtown Minneapolis, and you need to contribute at least $5,000 to the reno. Oh, and you need to be able to appear on camera at least five "half-shoot" days, plus others. The bennies: You get the advice of a free design pro, $4,000 toward the project and the potential for donated goods. Shooting starts Feb. 1 and runs through June. Interested parties should email kitchencasting@magneticproductions.com for directions.

Meanwhile, I continue my life of painting sloth while pondering this statistic: A recent survey of 1,300 readers by Architectural Digest (from whose pages paint-taped kitchens are glaringly absent) indicated 56 percent of them had completed a home improvement/design project in the past 12 months. The same number are planning a home improvement/design project in the next 12 months. And on average, respondents said they would spend $43,000. Who are these people and why can't they live at my house? What's on your must-rehab list this year?