Dear Amy: This week I learned that my intelligent, hardworking, responsible 24-year-old daughter (who lives with me) is a gun owner! And it's not a normal gun — it is a 40-caliber semiautomatic, and she has hollow point bullets to go with it.

This is the kind of weapon a criminal would possess! She says it is for emergencies. There have been only two home invasions in our neighborhood in the past 11 years.

I've given her three choices: She can give her weapon to me, sell it or move out in three weeks.

I love my daughter and would be so sad for her to move into a place that she would hardly be able to afford, but now I have to lock my bedroom door at night because I don't know what she's going to do.

Now she says that I don't trust her, and is barely speaking to me. How can I convince her to stop endangering us?

Amy says: According to my research, possessing hollow point bullets is illegal in 11 states; is it legal in your state to own this sort of exploding ammunition?

In a report published in 2015, researchers at the University of Chicago found that 31% of households reported having a firearm in 2014, down from about 48% in 1980. According to this study, there are more guns, but concentrated in fewer households.

Where did your daughter get this weapon and ammunition? Has she received any safety training or certification? (Accidental gun death is a substantial risk of owning a gun.) Is she perhaps engaged in another activity outside of your household that exposes her to increased risks and makes her believe she needs to have a weapon?

I have news for you: A locked bedroom door is no match for this weaponry; as I write this, just five days ago a father in South Carolina tragically shot and killed his own 23-year-old daughter through a closed door — when he mistook her for an intruder.

I agree with your ultimatum; I also weep that there is yet another (likely unsafe) gun owner in this country.

Painful reminders

Dear Amy: My older brother died by suicide about two years ago.

He was not married and did not have children.

He struggled with alcohol addiction for most of his adult life. We were unsuccessful in helping him to kick his addiction.

I still see my brother's profile whenever I use Facebook, and it is incredibly painful for me. I want to have his profile gone forever, but my younger sister wants to "memorialize" his page, so we can still see it. Any recommendations?

Amy says: I vote for memorializing your brother's page. Instructions on how to do this are readily available through the Facebook "Help" section (search key word "deceased"). The process is somewhat involved and requires proof of death, and a request sent to Facebook.

A "memorial" page will be a way for your brother's friends and family members (including you, if you ever choose) to remember him, view photos and continue to feel connected, but you would not receive further birthday reminders or recommendations regarding his page.

Being a survivor of a family member's death by suicide conveys a unique and terrible sort of grief. But, please, I hope you won't let your brother's death (and your painful associations and memories of his struggles) completely erase his presence from your life.

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