Dear Amy: I am a 60-year-old woman, out of the dating scene for many years. I met a wonderful man online. We spoke for a couple of weeks, and then met for dinner. He lives two hours away, so I got a nearby hotel room for the night.
He picked me up in a brand-new Corvette and took me to dinner. We had a great time. He took me back to my hotel, where we sat by the pool and talked.
I really felt there was a connection. Finally, after five hours and some kissing and hugging, he said he had to leave or something was going to happen we might regret. He said he wanted to see me again. He texted me when he got home, texted me the next morning and then called me that evening. We talked some more. Our work schedules are completely opposite and we have opposite days off. I asked about our schedules, and he replied, “Let’s give this some thought, and I will call you in a couple of days.”
It has been five days and I haven’t heard from him. What do I do? Should I wait, or should I text or call him?
Amy says: The most likely scenario is that Mr. Corvette is using the matching site to meet other women, and you should do the same to meet other men.
The biggest difference between dating now and dating when you and I were young is the speed with which people cycle through meetings, dating and (sometimes) relationships. The dating dynamic (the butterflies, the swoon of meeting, the uncertainty of waiting for that call) may feel familiar, but the rules now are governed by what people want. And the whole question of “what people want” can be surprisingly complicated. If you want to see him again, say so. Assume he is seeing other people, and always practice safe sex. Pregnancy may not be a probability, but STDs are.
Does grad ‘deserve’ gift?
Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son was supposed to graduate. However, due to his school suspensions he couldn’t walk with his class, but he is receiving his diploma. My only wish for my kids was for them to excel in school ... and to watch them graduate. He has done the total opposite, despite my interventions.
My neighbor has given me a graduation card with money included, to forward to my son. Although he’s getting his diploma, I do not feel he is deserving of any gifts from me or my neighbor.
Amy says: You should ask your son if he feels he is deserving. He may argue he has been punished; it is up to you if you feel he should be punished further. You might want to withhold gifts until you feel he has behaved in a deserving way.
I hope you won’t give up on him. Don’t intervene. Let him face consequences. It’s a tough world out there for a young person who doesn’t have his stuff together. He’ll have to learn the hard way, which will also be hard on you.
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