Yes, the on-the-field record is bad enough for the Twins. But the salve of giving away stuff to fans isn't working out as expected, either.
It goes beyond the MLB Network shopping bag, given away when the Royals were in town last month, that Twins fans can wear to Target Field as a disguise.
Or the decision to honor the University of North Dakota's hockey team, not exactly a promotion, but a pregame festivity that was greeted with as much snark as applause. And we're refraining from the tired joke about the raffle where first prize is two free tickets and second prize is four.
Consider the evidence:
*Eddie Rosario Youth Jersey Day was June 5. Rosario, however, wasn't there to see it because he'd been sent to the minor leagues for his lousy play.
*Miguel Sano Bobblehead Day is Saturday against the Yankees. Sano has been sidelined with a hamstring injury suffered while running out a ground ball in Oakland a couple of weeks back. He isn't expected to be ready this weekend.
*Glen Perkins Baseball Card Day is June 23. Perkins is on the 60-day disabled list, recently suffered a "setback" in his recovery and has pitched two innings this season -- last appearing on April 10.
*Ervin Santana Bobblehead Day is July 2. The Twins' Opening Day starter is 1-7 with a 5.10 ERA. Add that to his 80-game suspension from last season and a bobblehead designation feels a bit shaky, don't you think?
*Byung Ho's Balcony, complete with Park Bang t-shirt, is July 5. Byung Ho Park is batting .207.
*Twins 1991 World Championship Stein Day is July 27 against Atlanta, the opponent in the memorable 1991 World Series. At 18-46, Atlanta is the one team in baseball with a worse record than the Twins. We're guessing some of the 10,000 steins will be available if the Twins hold another Christmas clearance sale. Or maybe they'll be given out in sets of four.
To be fair, there's some good stuff ahead: Light bulbs on Thursday and socks on Sunday. The Mascot Softball Game is August 14 (We're big fans of the Gedney Pickle) and there's a two-day stocking cap giveaway in September, when it'll probably be 80 degrees given the way things are going.
But still, this is more evidence that when things go wrong, they go really wrong, even if the Friday Night Fireworks are pretty good.