Dollars & Sense: Naughty and nice stocking stuffers

It's the little things that count. That's why choosing stocking stuffers can be intimidating. Some people focus on the practical. "Ooh, is this the non-shredding dental floss?" Others lean to clever or offensive. "Honey, I'm never going to wear this." Here's a grab bag of ideas to impress or distress.

Is that Conspicuous Consumption you're wearing?

You bought the namesake vehicle and you're still not being noticed? Pour on enough Hummer cologne (2.5 oz. for $40, 4.2 oz. for $52) and you'll ooze conspicuous consumption from every pore. At fragrance counters in most department stores, including Marshall Field's.

Putting a chill on a hot flash

A menopausal woman whose burners are stuck on high might appreciate (never assume with the menopausal) Cleavage Coolers ($18). Put the heart-shaped pillow in the freezer and when feeling hot-hot-hot, apply the aromatic Cooler. Available at gift shops including S. Clein (4211 Excelsior Blvd., St. Louis Park, 952-920-7297). For a list of dealers, go to www.cleavagecoolers.com.

Strictly 'medicinal'

"Liquid candy cane" is how the makers of Mothers Peppermint Schnapps describe this 7-ounce plastic bottle ($4). The liqueur, also available in root beer and peach flavors, is available from stores such as G-Will Liquors, Ik's, Liquor Depot, MGM, Surdyk's and municipal stores in Fridley, Richfield, Eden Prairie and Columbia Heights.

No toothbrush, no toothpaste, no problem

For those occasions when a toothbrush and sink aren't available, try Oral-B Brush-Ups ($2.49 for 12) for a quick freshening. The textured tooth wipes are like a rubber fingertip. For campers, travelers and the bedridden. Available at drugstores and discounters.

Drain cleaner? You shouldn't have

Here's a stuffer that's guaranteed to elicit a "What the heck ...?" The Laundry Tub Lint Trapper ($6, Menard's plumbing department) fits snugly into a drain to replace the nylon or steel mesh sock on the end of the hose that you may be using now. It cleans easily, can be re-used indefinitely and was invented by a Stillwater man.

Pack carelessly, then spray

Frequent travelers will appreciate a bottle of Wrinkle Free Fabric Relaxant (9 ounces, $10 plus shipping, Magellan's Travel Supplies, 1-800-962-4943 or www.magellans.com, item TC425FL). Works on nearly every fabric including silk, but not polyester. Eliminates static cling, too.

Soap or art?

Even a prude would agree that a nude has a proper place in the loo. Your own body is a work of art, of course, but how about a torso you can put on the shelf? Gallery 360 (3011 W. 50th St., Minneapolis, 612-925-2400) offers 5-inch torsos carved from glycerine soap ($25) to admire on a shelf or in the soap dish.

Reality show revenge

If you've ever wished that you could turn off the TV in a public place, TV-B-Gone ($20 including shipping) comes to your rescue. The keychain gadget turns off TV sets in most places, from airports to restaurants. With a zap of a button, the fob reviews the infrared codes of about 1,100 TV models. Within 15 seconds, most screens will go black and you can sit in peace. Order from www.tvbgone.com.

Adopt a grapevine

For wine lovers on your list, you can "adopt" one of the 12,000 vines on St. Helena Winery's Napa Valley Estate in California. Adopters are encouraged to visit their vine, which will be marked with a silver-plated nametag. The adopt-a-vine program ($80) includes one bottle of Sympa Cabernet Sauvignon reserve (shipping charges will be added). Call 1-877-245-6006 or go to www.sthelenawinery.com for a certificate.

Golfer's gag gift

When your golf buddy is a tad better than you, you need the competitive advantage of Goof Balls ($10, Gander Mountain stores). The easily lost camouflage-colored balls add strokes to a scratch player's game. Hackers everywhere smile.

John Ewoldt may be contacted at jewoldt@startribune.com, at 612-673-7633 or by sending a fax to 612-673-4359. His articles are online at www.startribune.com/dollars.